CARLSBERG

2007-02-28T21:11:00.000+08:00

living like a house on fire
what you fear is your desire

today is 28feb 2007.... which also means it's one of my favourite friends' birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING LIMQIN YI :-)
i love you lots. thank God for you!

today was a cool school day, too. i didn't fall asleep or even come close (is that gramatically correct?) to falling asleep in chem lect! way too occupied talking to syafiq (who managed to 60% convince me about something) ...... so was jas with rena. if we disturbed you mel, i'm so sorry ....

i also visited my darling gandearie! which also = meeting up with ivsim and lowsp (the antisocial one) (yummi doesn't count cos i see her at school) your toes look real cute now right, especially your big toe. and i owe you your green umbrella. get well soon okay! don't want to see you hopping around ... heh. in other news. i took a REALLY long time to get home cos i boarded 45 instead of 43. how smart can i get? i cannot find my way around serangoon. the rain made things worse, too.

ohya i'm still uncontactable .... this has its benefits as well as its, um, disadvantages. sheeesh my english is deteriorating.

ivsim! here's adding to your vocabulary and understanding your chemistry notes .......
Noun: corollary
1. A practical consequence that follows naturally
2. (logic) an inference that follows directly from the proof of another proposition

2007-02-25T21:29:00.000+08:00

wreck of the day

don't give a shit any more........................
i'm going to sleep by 10pm and be a good girl next week.
I AM SERIOUS. good girl. heh.

i miss talking to you... but i don't think you'll ever read this.

2007-02-25T17:58:00.000+08:00

First i lost elaine.
then i lost my ugly phone.

i'm not someone to spew profanities, but if i were, you'd see this whole page covered with it right now.

and right now, at this moment, i wish i could grow up quick and leave home.

2007-02-24T23:54:00.000+08:00

Garden state has got to be one of the nicest shows ever. i'm sorry i can't come up with a better adjective but whatever (haha jasmine)

Andrew Largeman: So what were you really doing there?
Sam: Charging. I'm a robot.
Andrew Largeman: Do you lie a lot?

Sam: He's protecting me.
Andrew Largeman: So?
Sam: He likes me!
Andrew Largeman: Don't be cute.
Sam: He's my knight in shining armor.
Andrew Largeman: Don't talk about knights around Mark. it's a sore subject.

Sam: I haven't even lied in like, the past two days.
Andrew Largeman: Is that true?
Sam: No.

and i shall just prance off and stop thinking of the stupid things i've done.

2007-02-20T17:04:00.000+08:00

i want to blog about 2 things

1) i wanted to type here "i met THE most annoying awful little half boy half girl last night" but after a while it changed to "i met THE most charming sweet little boy last night". he's like hyperactive and shit but my sister and i decided that he's actually quite smart and is just easily distracted. he has an entrepreneur's mind too.... which may turn out to be either good or bad. yeaaah i hope i get to see him soon (like next yr ha)

2) i wanted to type it down here just in case i forget about it. last week, i had THE most amazing human geography lesson with my favourite geography teacher who called me names. she was so high on MOCHA, red bull and coffee, we couldn't stop laughing. ohya and IMR = infant mortality rate, did you know that? :) :) :) i'll never forget the definition of IMR now.

ya and i have to go now. bye

[edit]

tag replies
chubbs yo.
penq yesyes i want to see you again, i miss seeing you around in school :(
sher you don't qualify the OTHER half!
siew and neither do you!
xuan ya i want your uniform too although it is such an ugly green. hey it's your turn to ask me, i'm forever asking you out and you're forever busy, riiiiight
xuewei least i saw you today :) AND I'M GNA MISS YOU LIKE CRAP *IF* YOU LEAVEEEE
ivsimo it's okay, you already automatically qualify hehehe
ning HAHA you think you funny right. besides i wouldn't want a pizza chef cos a pizza chef usually bakes pizzas with cheese. my future boyfriend wouldn't have baked a pizza before. at least, i suppose not hehe YOU WORKAHOLIC WHY DO YOU HAVE TO START WORK SO EARLY
michelle it's on my computer, i can like send it to you or make a copy of it......

I SWEAR SHE'S BAD AND SHE KNOWS
I THINK THAT SHE KNOWS
(I THINK
I THINK ONLY)

[/edit]

2007-02-18T01:15:00.000+08:00

i shall never grow up
make-believe is much too fun

helllo i'm bored and i feel like eating macs french fries. i know i'm not having the worst time an average girl could have but just spare me as i feel like talking crap. i was bribed with 3 ribena pastilles to play ice and water with my sister and cousins when i was babysitting them. i'm going to try not drinking any soft drinks at all, especially during cny. green tea, here i come....... oh and i've fallen in love with yami yoghurt, oh gosh yami yoghurt can totally make my day (i love the peach flavoured ones). there are only 2 yami yoghurt outlets i am likely to visit, one at le meridien and the other at suntec. somebody ask me out on a yami yoghurt date please. i love eating japanese beef. e.g. teppanyaki (oh i ate it for the very first time on friday) and sukiyaki! oh oh and i have come up with 2 (very superficial) conditions my future boyfriend will/hopefully will satisfy

A) have a car so he can drive me around
B) bake me a cheeseless pizza without ... cheese ... or pineapple.

good luck to my prospective boyfriends. hahaha i shall go restore sleep for later. bye

2007-02-14T16:56:00.000+08:00

SMACK THAT (you)

i'm currently at home packing my very messy table. i submitted my jae application some time ago. it's so wild, i have to keep my verification slip away. don't ask me what my first choice is unless you already know. cos i won't tell you. unless i feel like it. does that make sense? i don't care if it doesn't to you, cos it does to me.

today is flower day, i received flowers yay. thankyou sweethearts :)

sailing is really slack. i've only been for 3 trainings so far. as you can see there is no training today. again. mmmmmm yup.

i am wearing new contacts? .... haha randomzxzxzxzzz

byebye

2007-02-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

Creation
7 days to mould,
Many more to fold,
A big light in the sky,
Then He separated the water and sky,
He created land and all kinds of vegetation,
Then He made light at night by placing stars up high,
He created creatures to roam the land and sea,
He made each of us different in a special way
God blessed everything and had a rest day.

by..... my good friend *beams*

2007-01-31T00:21:00.000+08:00

take me in

A. i have land training tomorrow. or rather, later
B. Miss chan deserted school today. or rather, yesterday
C. i need to get some CASH (as in cos i am cashless now, if you get what i mean)
D. i need some sleep
E. i have the acjc look
F. i have the poly face
G. geography teachers like to make comments
H. i hate gp
I. i have never found writing an essay this difficult
J. i think something's wrong with my brain
K. i think i don't have enough brain juice
L. i have a bad butt ache or ass cramp, take your pick
M. i haven't gone cycling in a long while
N. i just went cycling today
O. as usual the company didn't fail in making me laugh till my stomach ached real bad
P. i like talking to mel my darling
Q. i want to talk to my bestfriend
R. thanks to you who are helping me with gp
S. i'll miss you when/if you leave.

~~tomorrorw~~ today is yet another day... and it will worry for itself. hehe

2007-01-29T03:25:00.000+08:00

opportunity knocks knocks knocks
open the door

look at the time, and i'm still up! i seriously can't fall asleep. i finished my binomial assignment just now (fine, it's just three pathetic questions) and decided to turn on the dear computer again. tomorrow is another long day. so is the day after tomorrow. and the day after the day after tomorrow. but that day won't be too bad. cos heroes'll be shown on starworld on that night. yes! i am finally going to watch tv! that's if i remember to watch it.

i miss my bestfriend. we're all busynow

i suddenly started thinking about the people around me and the people around the people around me. there are so many pretty people around and you usually find the pretty people with, well, more pretty people. are the pretty people nice? they look so pretty, you could knock their faces and they'd shatter. light travels faster than sound... you can never tell.

"so much for my theory that life doesn't suck for pretty people" six days, part 1

is your life bright and shiny? i'm having a fair day.

2007-01-24T22:47:00.000+08:00

just run with me through
rows of speeding cars

i was a happy girl yesterday really happy although i like felt kinda sick in my stomach cos of stupid chilli but i was nevertheless happy

today i went sailing! it was awesome.

so what if you catch me
where would we land?

2007-01-17T16:44:00.000+08:00

there, there baby it's just textbook stuff
it's in the abc's of growing up

today is lucinda's birthday.
happy birthday lu
hope you liked what we did for you. we love you

do you know whattttt i am kinda sad now because my mum cleaned up my hard disk drive and my ipod crashed on me really bad. oh fine, i'm not sad sad, just annoyed that i have no more music to accompany me to and fro the faraway school. oh and no more music to listen to either. mission to rebuild my collection is not really working either cos my computer speakers are somehow really horrible and even if i get new songs i wouldn't feel like listening to them.

i didn't go for sailing today. darn i really wanted to go you know. i am officially sick. (since when did being sick need officiating. but that's not the point) i hope my sickness will last until friday and i will skip friday cos friday is lame.

math is killing me as usual, (i know this sounds so wrong but) i can't wait for tuition so i can stop feeling stupid in class. and fine, tutorials aren't that bad after all. and i love physical geography, been real fun so far. YES I AM GOING TO LOOK AT A ROCK AND SAY "WOW" and in the morning, miss human geography said that i looked like a mouse and in the afternoon said that i looked studious. riiiight. oh and chinese lessons just make me feel super notfromachineseschool AND the chinese teacher managed to convince me that i just MIGHT fail my hcl o level.

going to school is not so bad now cos i get to avoid traffic. just that i still have to get up damn early. ok yes and today is the first day of jc life that i am back home this early on a school day. AND that's just cos i didn't go for sailing. mmhmmmm.

i am temporary but God is eternal. did you know that? i'm finding out again. drop me a verse

yep and that's like just about all i want to tell you today. see you next time. bye

2007-01-12T00:01:00.000+08:00

I CAN SEE US HOLDING HANDS
WALKING ON THE BEACH
OUR TOES IN THE SAND :)

i just like that part. i don't usually listen to songs like that okay! not that there's anything wrong but... just not my kinda music. so anyway.

I LOVE THE COMPANY

especially mel and, um, "JEFFREY". hahahahahaaaa. thanks for being such sweet pals today. creating the perfect ambience and all. that was really really sweet and totally appreciated. i know i suck at burnout revenge. but i love twelve in streetfighter! heheheh only you guys know what i mean. i love rena and lucinda tooo. and of course all the dumb stuff that we do

I LOVE CHAN XUEWEI

for being there. and being in 07S29. i'll probably be dead by now if you weren't in there with me. and all the sending me to school times. and the hanging out together times. fill me in more about what i've missed these 4 years, like how we did that day on the bench. i want more of those hehe!

I LOVE JASMINE TAY

for talking on the phone that night even if it was for such a short time. please don't back out on ngee ann again okay? i love you love you miss you miss you hehehe

and lastly

I LOVE THE PEOPLE I TALK TO (almost) EVERY NIGHT
i won't say who, but you guys just make my day right, however wrong it had been :D

thankGod for you guys

2007-01-06T16:16:00.000+08:00

i watch the patchwork farms
slowly fade into the ocean's arms

hey hey heyyyy i want to say that tpjc is not too bad after all the only thing i don't like about it is that it's so far away heh. oh and the canteen is, uh, not very nice too. now i want to go vj vj vj vj vj vj sucks passing by a jc in the morning like after 3 minutes on the bus but not going there arghhhh

morgan rocks and so does og3. made some awesome friends i miss you guys alrdy. and michellllle was my ogl! ok i just found that quite amazing like there are 40 ogs and michelle was my ogl hehehe. and and and i picked maths chem geog bio and i'll almost surely get it cos almost no one applied for that. i don't know what i'm doing (BIO ?!?!), i shouldve done like, china studies in chinese or something. stunned stunned stunned. and i DON'T WANT TO TAKE MTL, why why WHY do we have to take mtl, doesnt make sense at all pls.

siew i'm listening to that song i saw on mtv when we were at your place don't you want to kill me heheheheh

i had fun last night and on the bus odac people were trying to get us to... join... odac

ok bye

2007-01-02T21:41:00.000+08:00

QINYI DARLING I LOVE YOU THANKYOU SO MUCH I WILL GO TO BEECHENGHIANG AND BUY seaweed from there. love love love love loveeeee

now i'm excited for school. i don't care if i have to get up (so awfullyjwlebjhcawplcakbaawlawfully) early and go to the place i do not like heh i hope this excitement will last hahahaaaaa okay i will get going bye!

2007-01-01T02:58:00.000+08:00

24

hellllo this is 2007.

and it's started off in a totally crazy way nobody would want. *I* got it. and i will live with it. i will live and i will grow.

i said today that i realised i've found more reason to my life. but (yes i know i hate buts) i think i still haven't. i'm still fuzzy, and i'm still wandering. i like you, i really do. but i am so unworthy.

i've done really crazy stuff this year. stuff i wish i'd never done, stuff i don't know why i did but did anyway. stuff i can't remember, can't put into words, but still stuck somewhere at the back of my mind. stuff i'm embarrassed of. stuff i'd never tell anyone on the face of this earth. i know choices have consequences. i'm the kinda girl who wants to sleep on it, who wants to run away, who doesn't want to face the music. yup. i'm still that girl.

i think i get it now. the problem is me. and Jesus is here. i've been shutting Jesus out of some parts of my life. no no no, i can't do that anymore :S

your promise to live free
please do it for me

2006-12-28T15:33:00.000+08:00

where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet
sinking, feeling

spin me 'round again
and rub my eyes,
this can't be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first

oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life

2006-12-27T18:16:00.000+08:00

heathen chemistry

hello, i'm here dropping a message before i go to guides camp. so tag and show how much you miss me! hahaha.

i had island creamery today and i didn't feel fat. i felt super sweeeeetened. like chocolatey sweet. cos i had the hot fudge sundae. oh boy. i am not anorexic. heh

things are getting kinda crazy around here, but i think i can take it. bring it on~

oh, and i want to say, i am not a radio music girl. i so am not. if you get what i mean. but i like.

precious Lord, reveal Your heart to me

2006-12-25T13:07:00.000+08:00

my sweet lavinia

seriously, so many thingsve happened.

uh happy christmas evrybody.

plus i still feel like meredith grey.

oh and chan xw if you think my blog looks eerily like yours, i ripped the codes. cos my old blog looked warped on firefox and i'm way too lazy to search for a new one. (okay yes i'm FINALLY using firefox and no i don't hate IE) don't mind? heh. and nice meeting you on sunday! love you.

2006-12-23T09:21:00.000+08:00

will you be there when i need you?

i suddenly like imogen heap again. heh
i've only slept for 1.5hours since i don't know when and i'm still surviving.. heh
i miss my bestie who's away in macau and coming back 0355, i'll be waiting!
i had fun with bestie chan and we're gonna be schoolmates nextyear! oh boy, the power of my presence is AMAZING. hehehehehhhh

i think know why my parents want me to stay home at night now.

so many thingsve been happening.......

so don't think of yesterday
it's here and now

p.s. I FEEL LIKE MEREDITH GREY NOW. damnit.

2006-12-16T14:03:00.000+08:00

i had just about the craziest dream ever last night. and i'm not telling you what it is. oh well... if only dreams came true. you'd see me fly over the mooon.

bestie is back and ning is coming back today
bestie is leaving on tuesday

camp was good. but i am still fuzzy. i shall not talk much about camp. it was just pretty amazing.

i have to go now.

2006-12-16T01:10:00.000+08:00

i could feel

2006-12-11T15:31:00.000+08:00

world waits for you

i don't like where i am, but i know i'm still here and i'm not moving. i could make the choice to move, and also the choice how much to move. and i could just stay here, stationary, stagnant, whichever. i don't like being where i am because i feel like i have to live up to certain expectations, not just one. even if everyone else claims that there aren't any. it's silently blooming in ginormous bunches of flowers, but somehow nobody can see it. or, i'd say, everyone has chosen to look away from it.

wait, not it. THEM.

they're the kind of flowers that look pretty and smell good. however, the only thing i'd like to do is to reach up and pull them down and step on them till they all turn a yucky brown. sadly, i've got a problem. i'm not tall enough to reach them.

i've read two books in two days. the curious incident of the dog in the night time and i can't tell you. the first is about autistic christopher boone who hates yellow and brown and cannot stand to be touched and groans and took his A-level maths and got an A grade for it (if you've read the book, you might've realised christopher used a lot of 'and's). the latter is about a teenage boy (i cannot recall his name) who opted for elective mutism and communicated by writing. suddenly i feel like being both of them. not speaking, not standing to be touched, groaning, disliking yellow and brown and getting an A grade for A-level maths. fine, autistic, whatever (sorry jasmine)

i am running around disagreements in my head and i cannot catch myself. thankyou for reminding me that God looks at the heart. not at whether or not i can reach those flowers.

2006-12-11T11:43:00.000+08:00

i can't do this.

or maybe i just don't want to

2006-12-08T00:04:00.000+08:00

You scored as Journalism. You are an aspiring journalist, and you should major in journalism! Like me, you are passionate about writing and expressing yourself, and you want the world to understand your beliefs through writing.

Chemistry

92%

Theater

92%

Journalism

92%

Dance

83%

Linguistics

83%

Sociology

83%

Engineering

75%

Psychology

75%

Mathematics

67%

English

67%

Anthropology

67%

Philosophy

67%

Biology

58%

Art

33%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!)

created with QuizFarm.com

got that from janice's blog. wow.

jasmine haaaa well, sadly, my aunt's too busy to entertain me! and i want to watch the untalktative bunnnny lahhhhhhhh
zen nope, working just ain't my thing. at least, not right now. are *YOU* working?
huiming haha. thankyou girl! smile
xueshen yeah hehehe you too your life seems very complicated, hehhhh just be happy all right.
ning goodbye girl come back sooooooooon okay
louisa what happened to olio dome! heheheh
xuewei yeah i can't wait for 23rd! and after christmas! yay
fizzi yeah girl i haven't seen you since prom! there's so little hols left, might as well as not work unless it's some really part time thing right? heheheh yeah i was kinda bored man.
XUAN darling, i'm gonna miss you.....

i ate a lot today check this out
1. crystal jade
2. candy floss
3. swensens
4. some swissbake pastry
5. sakae sushi

i am bursting. i don't think i will eat tomorrow. yuxuan's mummy was very nice to talk to. now i know not to be a teacher heheh sorry to all potential teachers mmmm

ok i got nothing much to say.

2006-12-03T01:27:00.000+08:00

yeah, sorry for all the pessimism and all. if that's what you'd call it. i feel so aimlessss. like my existence is pointless. so sorry if you think this is teenage emo aroefnpaieuvbraeliuj and don't like it, you can not read it. urgggh. like so many weird things are happening. but i'm stuck in this time frame. and i just don't want to do anything. can't see the point of doing anything at all. but wait there's like nothing much to do. fine, so i can't see it yet. or whatever it is. i'd very much like to know what *IT* is. exactly. literally. explicitly. blah.

i want to talk to my cousin, who's probably in spain right now. i hope you're having fun. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU LAH COME BACKKKKKK

everyone's leaving!
bestie for japan/macau. yummi for china. ganpenq has alrdy been gone for a long time. huan's gone too and she'll be going to egypt soon after she comes back (we'll like, never meet.)

and if they aren't leaving, they're working.
sher teo poo poo is working. lowsp is working. yvonne ong is working. tcy is working.

WHY IS THE WHOLE WORLD WORKING!! I HATE WORKING! I REFUSE TO WORK! THIS IS LIKE CHILD SLAVERY! WHY NOT WORK LIKE TWO YEARS LATER, YOU WON'T DIE OF POVERTYAND YOU'LL HAVE SO MUCH MORE TIME TO WORK. okay, that was jsut a plea for everyone to not work and come and accompany me. see what's happening to me!?! i'm becoming a SELFISH POOOOOT

EVEN MY SISTER HAS DISAPPEARED =( my perpetual companion has disappeared =( =( and i am so pathetically talking to her over MSN! WHAT AM I TO DO~~~

i need to get a new phone soon (as in, it's a NEED) but there are NO APPEALING PHONES IN THE MARKET! it's like the world hates me now or something. never mind somebody taught me huh we are in the world but not of the world BUT WE ARE STILL IN THE WORLD WHY IN THE WORLD ARE WE IN THE WORLD

jassssssmine tay ask me for a movie+lunch on saturday again or something. (but there are like no nice movies now --- WHERE ARE ALL THE CHRISTMAS MOVIES) i am dying. (like page doctor ***** it's a 911) i miss you! PLS DON'T TELL ME YOU ARE WORKING TOO.

2006-12-02T01:18:00.000+08:00

so beautifully

i'm that girl who doesn't want to blog about prom.

for people who actually want to know about what's happening to me
i have been eating very unhealthy food
i haven't been doing anything fruitful
i don't know what i'm doing
i feel like i'm wasting my life away
i feel like there's a ton of things waiting for me to do but i just don't feel like doing it
i feel like there's a ton of things to change about myself but i just can't bother
i feel like filling this blog with a long long long long entry but my brain is kinda empty
i feel like being fruitful

okay. after this sunday.

2006-11-30T20:38:00.000+08:00

my little sister has a new table lamp. she bought it from ikea (eye-kay-yah) .................

it uses one tiny halogen bulb, but is blooooody bright. it shines with a yellowish light.

2006-11-24T23:32:00.000+08:00

hi i just feel like posting something.

i am 95% likely to get into srjc for pae but srjc doesn't have the subject combination i want. booooooo srjc

i am 85% muddled about prom and all things linked to prom so i am not really looking forward to it. boooooooooo prom

i am 75% freeeeee for the rest of my days except for certain commitments

i am 60% blur

2006-11-18T19:45:00.000+08:00

OZYMANDIAS of EGYPT
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said:—Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

i couldn't resist. anyone else remembers secondary 2 lit? oh, lit. i think it was a good thing i didn't take it up. i like the language, but i'm not ready for lit. maybe i don't know what i'm saying, but i just don't think i'd like lit very much.

2006-11-18T17:08:00.000+08:00

i'm having a lot of fun with my new the postal service collection. yay. new music. different music. but i like it. don't know why. i used to hate the electronic sound. anyway, thankyou shane.

i watched step up today. i think jenna dewan looked pretty in some shots. i was strangely very very uncomfortable at the first few scenes. you know, it was very destructive... literally. okay and i am so motivated to dance. i miss dancing. and the music was nice with the dancing cos i usually don't like that kinda music. hahaaaa where are the girls i like to dance with, we've all grown up already...................

i feel like doing so many things at once and i don't know where to start. i shall like wake early everyday and be productive. like get my ass outta the house in case i fall asleep again.

today, i was reminded that God has plans. and i couldn't help but keep smiling to myself. everyone else probably thought i was crazy. He has plans for me! okay, i know we hear that all too often.... but today He just made me remember it, and i remembered that it was real. you know, real? He loves me with all the love real. He loves me with more than all the love you could ever imagine real. we can never get enough of Him, but what He gives us is always enough.

oh and i feel very christmassy this year. not presents and gifts christmassy (though i definitely wouldn't mind) but maybe cards and parties christmassy! hi christmas parties, i can't wait!

um i don't want to think so much so i'll just tell you that i want to go on a holiday to vancouver.

oh and i really wanted to say this! thanks to the girls who knew how important amath to me. your little messages (and the malt candy! *winks) really motivated me. shar sends you her love.

2006-11-13T19:09:00.000+08:00

the memories of june 2005 are flooooding back. this is the first time i got to see this picture, thanks limxy

dec 2003 beats june 2004

2006-11-10T09:57:00.000+08:00

You make all things beautiful

the voice of a worshipper of God is always beautiful.

and i am not referring to myself, ha, ha ha ha for anyone who's heard my voice recently. but anyway. since i am a worshipper of God, my voice is beautiful too. hehehehhhh

okay, so i've got this horrendous sore throat that's got worse since i ate burger king. i have this great feeling that my phlegm is green except that i don't know cos i can't see it. it never wants to come out. and i've run out of strepsils. booooo and i'm coughing too.

i am having o levels. it has got me so crazy, i forgot to bring my pencilcase yesterday. ha, ha ha ha. and i lost my ezlink card. for the fourth time in four years...............

2006-11-02T18:58:00.000+08:00

hold me, blow all the pride from my bones
with Your fire

fell in love with this song while waiting 1084731209560 minutes for the bus. fine so i'm lazy and i refused to take any bus other than 196. heheheh

i watched the prestige on i-don't-know-which night. somebody slap meeee. but it was quite nice. really confusing and all...still nice. and limxy i used the movie voucher on a weekday! i owe my sister lotssss of money for xiaolongbao lamian...... i cannot get a credit card next time. will my future husband please remind me? oh and i love xiaolongbao and qingjitang lamian plus my own concoction of sauces.

i am probably the stupidest ass to have ever walked on the face of this earth. no matter. i am still smart. heheh. if you're wondering why i'm so stupid. it has got to do with so many matters that your fingers and mine cannot count. one of them is...... i haven't started on SS while i've started on history elective. and SS comes first and history (second) last.

i spent 2 hours talking on the phone yesterday with my best friend that could've been used to do more emath (which i am horrendous at. in fact i now prefer amath to emath. call me crazy) but never mind considering the fact that we had an awesome talk with great ambience... pouring rain. plus i could see the sea (and she couldn't). and the ecp subway outlet which i haven't visited yet. booooo

i was sitting at the bus stop at great world city at 12+ am the night i watched the prestige with my sister and was whining at the top of my voice to take a cab home because the only bus we could take home was obviously not going to come until 6 am the next morning or something. and i sat there thinking, i bloody wasted 10274389 hours of my life away. before that, i had the impression that i'd be aimlessss after o's. not anymore.... now i am a purposeful girl. i am going to be. a purposeful young lady. kiss my cheeeek. i'm going to find thingS to do. that are. PURPOSEFUL. like spending time with people i haven't seen in ages. (except you-know-who, xuaaaaaaaan. btw i haven't got any email from you. )

right now, i'm going to be purposeful.

P.S. all right i'll admit it. i wanted to like blog an essay or something. you know? to practise writing for english paper. but i CAN'T. there's nothing i can think of writing. except wee shu min. but i don't want to talk about wee shu min. okay, that's enough. off to being purposeful.

i have only one shot. and i have no choice.

i am going to shoot you. (hahahaha kidding. love life like i am trying to!)

2006-10-26T19:55:00.000+08:00

wash me whiter than the snow

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE.
Name: shar. or you can call me ashley =)
Birth date: 22/7
Current status: unattached
Eye colour: black brown
Hair colour: black brown
Righty or Lefty: righty
Zodiac Sign: horse

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE.
Your heritage: chinese? hokkien?
Your fears: losing my loved ones.
Your weaknesses: can't count. i am weak but He is strong!
Your perfect pizza: no cheese. tomato baseeeee. i don't know. i don't really eat pizzas. except when there's no cheese. which is like only when my mum makes em

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW.
Your thoughts first waking up: shoooo i want to sleep. / i can't sleep.
Your bedtime: varies. supposed to be 11
Your most missed memory: for now... dec 2003

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK.
Pepsi or Coke: neither
McDonald's or Burger King: subway (now open at ecp)
Single or group dates: both
Adidas or Nike: adidas
Lipton tea or Nestea: neither
Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla usually
Cappuccino or coffee: (ice blended) coffee

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: no
Curse: i don't know if it counts. i think it does. so, yes.
Take a shower: yes. it is so time consuming. but makes me feel clean.
Have a crush: on?
Think you've been in love: yes...think.
Go to school: no. hahaha
Want to get married: yes
Believe in yourself: yes
Think you're a health-freak: at times. broccoli is good, my favourite veg

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH.
Drank alcohol: yes
Gone to the mall: yes
Been on stage: no =(
Eaten sushi: yes
Dyed your hair: no

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER?
Played a stripping game: no
Changed who you were to fit in: more like, change myself to fit out. and i didn't do it on purpose! honest.

LAYER EIGHT
Age you're hoping to be married: uh. 12.

LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY.
Best eye colour: ...as long as i like it -,-
Best hair colour: ...as long as i like it -,-
Short or long hair: ...as long as i like it -,-

LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING.
1 minute ago: doing this
1 hour ago: talking to my neighbour
4.5 hours ago: getting a headache from RV
1 month ago: um?
1 year ago: i don't remember.

LAYER ELEVEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE.
I love: my Saviour=)
I feel: like aceing RV
I hate: i don't know
I hide: the pain in my right hand. i'm so scared that i won't be able to write properly during o's
I miss: etc etc etc
I need: to have self discipline and good time management like ivsim. which obviously is absent cos im actually doing this.

LAYER TWELVE: TAG 5 PEOPLE.
1. qin
2. ning
3. lesmean. heh
4. whoever else poooooping by who wants/needs to kill time.
5. fine ...i can't count

amaths: F9 --- A! WATCH ME.

i don't live up to my expectations........ i live by His will for me!

i'll fly away, oh glory, i'll fly away
when i die, hallelujah, by and by
i'll fly away

2006-10-22T21:46:00.000+08:00

oh, the guilt

although i didn't know the title of 3E05, i pretty much guessed it. the whole episode was revolving around guilt. anyway i can't wait for the next episode. fine, so i sound like an idiot who's surviving on a tv show that isn't even screened in her area. SO what. live with it!

i am smart. believe it or not. i am smart. you know why? cos i have common sense. and i USE that common sense. i don't care if you think i'm stupid. i know you might be thinking that i'm a selfcentred sefuaiolwbfeaonv right now. but i'm smart. too bad for you. i live by my VALUES. i make mistakes. and i learn from them. and i do my best NOT to compromise on my VALUES. they are important to me, whatever you say. this sounds like a paragraph in response to something/someone, but no, it isn't. it's just something i wanted to say. or rather, put down in words.

i was watching you at church today and i realised that you are imperfect. you, ARE, imperfect. present tense. and then it suddenly struck me that i, the quasi-perfectionist, am imperfect too. i know, i sound even more sefuaiolwbfeaonv than in the last paragraph. i'm slow, whatever. let's jsut say i never felt as imperfect as i did today. and also let's not consider acad stuff. just in terms of dealing with the lemons life has given us so far. i've squashed a few, let a few rot, and made just about 5 ml of juice that might evaporate soon. so before it all disappears, i'm going to make some more juice. if that makes any sense to you at all. mmhmmm and i am still hanging on to the words that someone told me more than a year ago: God works through imperfect people. after all, who IS perfect? no one on earth, that's for sure.

and and and, today's dg was really interesting. i've yet to finish the whole paper. anyone interested in the medical/scientific side of Jesus' crucifixion? i am really amazed by it! exhaustion asphyxia ... or something like that. mmhmmmm

#1, i know you miss my letters. we should study together or something. and you can help me w math? *hopeful look. you're in my prayers! i love you to bits and pieces too bad for you

#2, i know you miss my postcards. it's been ages since we've written each other, right? ha ha. PS for letting you know about stuff so late. but don't you think it should be an INFORMATION EXCHANGE...........why don't i know anything about your side! hmm anyway, i promise i'll tell you stuff as soon as i can. (however, you are usually 9/24 uncontactable. heh heh)

#3, i love you. i just love you.

i prefer the term joy to happiness. cos happiness gives me the impression that it is of a temporal nature, but joy, joy from God is eternal. ETERNAL. and this is not let's-be-friends-forever, primary-six-autograph-book eternal. it's real-life, believe-it-or-not, if-you-don't-it's-too-bad-for-you-and-you-just-miss-out-on-the-joy eternal.

Wall Street is the only place where people ride to in a Rolls-Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. Warren Buffett

2006-10-20T18:16:00.000+08:00

change this something normal
into something beautiful

1.Are u photogenic?
NO ..i screw most pictures up

2. What time do you go to bed?
varies. supposed to be 11 heehee

3. What was the last thing you did before this?
meet long lost friend seow zhiwen

4. Who's the one you always meet the most?
my family

5. Who's the person you'll call if you need help?
depends on what help i need heh

6. What's on your mind right now ?
a lot of things

7. What do you prefer?
that i can be more clear minded and determined

8. With whom do you wanna be with to have fun?
fun people ...... ok watch hope&faith on starworld ch18

9. What movie do u wanna watch now?
21 grams i dont know why

10. When was the last time you went out?
to meet long lost friend just now

11. What do you hate the most for now?
my stomachaches

12. What do you do everyday besides eat & sleep?
breathe pray sing talk rollllllll

13. Colors that make you happy ?
yellow ............

14. Most fave thing in your room ?
my bed. it's like a secret loft or something. and i forbid anyone else to come on it.

15. Miss someone?
ha haaaaa in weird ways yes

16. Plan to buy something?
PLANS will (most of the time) always be plans .... maybe that's only in my case

17. Are you satisfied with your life now?
uh huh. 7/10 kuai le zhi shi (ok too much chinese today)

18.Do you like seafood?
pepper crab

19.Breakfast or dinner?
depends

20. like chocolates?
royce from the counter .... i don't mind designer chocolates either. just that it's silly cos however pretty they are, they still end up in a mush in my stomachache prone belly

21.Do you have a laptop?
NO

22. What's your favorite food from fast food?
fast food has been making me sick ....

23. Cats or dogs?
NEITHER

24. Salty or sweet?
depends on what i feel like eating

25. City or country?
our COUNTRY is a CITY that is 100% urbanised

26. Is kissing normal for your age?
depends on the society you live in

27. Are you bored?
NO

28.favorite bands for now?
i want to listen to the postal service but i only have one song

29. Do you have your own room?
NO

30. What do you wear to bed?
why should you know

31.Ever had a crush on a teacher in high school?
perhapssss ....... but i don't think it counts.

32. Coke or pepsi?
depends. to piss jasmine off, PEPSI

33. sugar or spice?
depends on what i feel like eating

34. Can you use chopsticks?
yes

35. Do you care about getting good grades?
depends

36. Have you ever fallen asleep in class?
yes

37. Get a job or ask your parents for money?
job

38. Is your mom strict?
not really

39. Do your parents give you enough privacy?
one does the other doesn't

40. Do your parents trust you?
quite

41. Would you ever wanna lose your best friends?
no

42. Does your best friend get on your nerves?
not since i can remember

43. Do you make friends quickly?
depends

44. Do you tell your mom everything?
NO

45. What do you & your parents fight about most?
$$$$$$ like got no life

46. If u love someone & she/he rejected u.what will u do to him/her?
SIS........... Suffer In Silence ....... then come up with all sorts of warped plans to thwart his life. maybe. haaaa

47.Can u sing or rap?
if you can talk, you can sing! i can!

48. If u have one wish , who would u make ur wife/husband for life?
my cousin. sadly, we're ..... cousins. or maybe that someone else

49. What do you like about this survey?
it's entertaining me before i go entertain my lonely vectors

50. 3 people to sa-bo!
um like if you ever need to entertain yourself before you entertain your books like i just did ......
1 limxy
2 wjun
3 xueshen
cos you 3 are the only people who still seem to be pretty alive who are on my links. okay fine i am aiugaravewl ...........

miss me

2006-10-18T00:17:00.000+08:00

like you're so perfect
and i can't measure up

today i blew many messages. my ribena supply is almost all dried up. i went to school and went home only to find that the remes i went for were changed. (that's what i hate i hate i hate although ~~damnit~~ i'm like that too)

i went to school today. someone told me that i was bright but lazy. and threw these two words in my face

活该

but i am not condemned in the name of He who loves me (:

i am still learning

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_1IYAJMBXY

2006-10-14T01:48:00.000+08:00

shar. we drew our own constellations says:
come on i need God

beloved says:
you alr have Him

2006-10-11T22:11:00.000+08:00

it's thoughts like this that catch
my troubled head when you're away
and when i am missing you to death.

i just want to say that i am really happy with my new grey esprit sweater! i blew 50% of my pay on it. wooops.

any recommendations for a new bag. budget $80. crumplers are out. they're all over the streets. wheeee tag please =)

and when you are out there on the road
for several weeks of shows
and when you scan the radio
i hope this song will guide you home

struggling

2006-10-10T00:10:00.000+08:00

thank you to
Miss Tay, for everything
Miss Lim, for being there
Miss Toh, for talking
Mr Lee, for listening
Mr Toh, for asking
Mr Lam, for answering
Mr Low, for caring
Miss Chen, for ...you don't know yet

and Miss Foong, for simply entertaining me with your crazy antics with Mr Leong.

if you know who you are, lucky you. the last one's just plain obvious. heheheh

tohsiew, i'll listen to you. 11pm. from tomorrow onwards.

i feel so destroyed. trying to pick up the pieces.

You are my God my Lord and Saviour

2006-10-07T23:28:00.001+08:00

make me feel like an idiot.
make me feel like i'm special.

cos it's sweet. and the piano's playing. and i feel like the teenage girl yesterday, standing on the pavement, watching the cyclists and the skaters whizz past in the dark of the night and hearing the waves breaking on the coast.

make me feel like it doesn't matter.

because a fool is running for miles
on the concrete ground
we're eight-feet-deep and
the rain's still coming down
the tv's playing it all out of town
we're grabbing at the fray for something
that won't drown

my UC, you are the sweetest

2006-10-07T01:21:00.000+08:00

i've been counting on nothing
but he keeps giving me his word
and i'm tired of hearing myself speak
do you get weary? do you ever get weak?
how do you dream when you can't fall asleep?

"i decided not to think of any more what-ifs."

i was at the beach just now. i saw a hazy sea. it was really beautiful. i wondered if it would clear up so that i could see the lights. i worried for the people out at sea, and wondered if they were all right.

"God is the best, and there is no what-if-there's-someone-better."

we walked off for a while and we came back to the same spot. the haze cleared, and i could see the lights. and i was happy because the people out at sea would be safer now.

beloved says:
AND the best part is, i KNOW. this is not my own effort

i am waiting for the time when i can say this and mean it from the bottom of my heart. am i being too much of a cynic? i whispered my love prayers. i still don't know where i stand. i have plenty of, plenty of bad habits and poor attitudes towards different matters. i should stop comforting myself with 'i-am-who-i-am'. i can be better. and that is not a what-if. but i cannot be better myself.

and i'm tired of hearing myself speak
do you get weary? do you ever get weak?

i guess. i am too much of a cynic. it's not that God doesn't want to bless me. it's that i haven't let Him. however, i still cannot find a door to open. i want to let You in, but i still cannot open the door. how ironic is that?

my stubborn will is learning to bend

thank God for a cousin like you. Lord, i know You sent him.

everyday i wish i was small

bubble-blowing with the cousins was fun. i refused to play tag because my pants would drop. i blowed bubbles. i ended up swallowing some because the wind kept blowing them back to me. a baby laughed. i sat on the sand. i learned how to throw a frisbee properly. i enjoyed the sticky feeling of being at the seaside. i liked the high tide.

whoever would love life and see good days ... he must seek peace and pursue it. (psalm 34:12-14)

i am so flawed. so beautifully flawed. but You,
You are flawless.

2006-09-22T23:16:00.000+08:00

YAYYYYYYYYYY YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS THE 22nd. all right say i'm crazy whatever. since the prelims are over. a little craziness is what my crazy little brain deserves. i know i'm getting crappy scores. but never mind. sick and tired of exams. sick and tired of being sick and tired. good time to learn how to be thankful for all things. let me digressss ...i can't imagine doing something i don't like for the rest of my life. then again, i can't imagine my doing anything i like. because i'm not sure what i like. wheeeeee.

i have blood type O+. this means i can donate blood to anyone but i can only receive O type blood. i am fascinated with blood types now. but for now i only know about O. and what's good for O types. broccoli is good for everyone. so start being powerpuff girls and eat your broccoli!

i know Singapore has few beaches (YO YO GEOGRAPHICAL FEATURE singapore all fake one, lah) one of the best (okay fine most commonly visited i suppose) is east coast park, which is, may i delightfully remind everyone, right at my doorstep. check out my favourite foods at marine cove... the universal macdonalds, the turkish kebab place, gelares and the coffee bean to get my yummy ice blends (but NEVER GO THERE to study.......teachers love it) SUBWAY is coming to east coast! YES you know what this means ------- no more trips down to suntec just to satisfy subway desires. especially brownies hehehe ning! yeaaaah after beach trip with sister, i made my own obstacle course out of the exercise station. seriously, she called me a green running monster! anyway did you know? O types respond well to exercise when stressed.

no movie with xuan. instead.... lots of walking. however, i still am fat. too much sugary foods. i bet my sugar level soared. never mind, it was nevertheless time well spent. i love you missy....

okay 301 is coming along 2.0%. see you soon.

Jesus, You're my firm foundation .......... please knock some sense into me.

2006-09-16T22:49:00.000+08:00

You exceed expectations
You're so far beyond what i believe
You're so much more

oh, i forgot to mention. i watched forbidden city on tuesday night. it was brillllliant. totally magic. and i suddenly felt like performing again, perform anything at all. watching all of them sing and dance and bring the story across to us. soooo coool. could completely sink into the story. i actually felt like crying. it was so so so so nice, lah. plus, i had awesome cat1 seats! come on everybody who has money please give forbidden city a shot. kit chan's fabulous! listening to the soundtrack now brings me back to the theatre. the only downside of having the soundtrack is that i have to listen to my sister sing every single annoying song. hmmmm yeaaah it was brillll.

i think i felt a lot like jonah in the fish. and for those of you who aren't really clear, jonah was in a fish! not a whale. after all, whales are not fish. hehehe. yeah, i feel like jonah outside the fish now. hahaha. come on, call me jonah. really, it sounds like a cross between a guy's name and a girl's name. all right, i love you qinyi.

2006-09-15T23:58:00.000+08:00

do you?

just to complement qin's yesterday post.

> YOU STILL HAVE ROYCE! AFTER SO LONG! ohgosh.
> i should be more considerate
> i should be more understanding
> ~~xiao hai bu ben, gong, project runway~~ GREY'S SEASON 3!
> i like yakult tooooo (not as much as RIBENA) and i JUST got myself some milo from the kitchen
> i am officially tired of all the competitiveness in me toooo

2006-09-15T13:59:00.000+08:00

when i look at the stars

God.

i pretty much crumbled on wednesday night. but i guess i'm fine now. back on my feet. fighting the stupid fight that everyone's fighting but not really winning anything. hopefully, i'm not alone. big thankyous to ning, qin, xuan and YOU! you guys have been great.

i wished i was sick and hospitalised with a DNR order on my chart. (okay i miss grey's.) but then, i won't be able to enjoy the third season of grey's. come on, i will get through this.

and don't you get sick and tired of finding out what's right? like, you think this is right but there's always an alternative that's not wrong. almost nothing's black and white. more than half the time, i'm always flipping in the grey area.

mmhmmmm....... i love you.

2006-09-11T22:54:00.000+08:00

the river is rushing and the river is here

i decided to come online to blog. SS today was cool. not that i felt that i did well, but it proved me right. that us kids of singapore are pushed into a box that teaches us not to question, challenge or debate what's taught. something like that. it reminds me of myself. because i always ask 'stupid questions' that everyone else can't answer either. and i'm always told to 'stop asking stupid questions'. maybe i will learn what all this is about when i grow up a bit more. oh, and if you want to know about today, i lost a 7m SBQ and 12m in emath. miraculously, i am not panicking over this. i also cannot stand discussing about papers after you've done them. because i seriously cannot see any point in doing so. why don't you do it during the debriefs? while i'm on ranting about matters concerning my secondary school, i'll say this. i hate it when people say you're-so-smart-you-can-surely-do-well-lah, oh-this-is-your-best-subject-you-no-need-scared or any crap like that. because, it simply isn't true. think about it, would you like it? (i know this is a sweeping statement but) everyone hates it, so why don't we all just stop it?

i am listening to an old, old CD that joy phua bought for me in primary 5. i doubt she even remembers me now. we used to hang out together on saturday afternoons a lot, just before our composition classes. and she gave me this CD. it is making me rather happy because it's full of songs that i have not heard in ages. yes, she did her part in pulling me closer to my Jesus. i wonder how she is doing now. (sadly, the CD skips at my favourite song. ) speaking of music, jake coco sounds nice ;) i'm so bleau for you.......

do I worship in vain?

i have decided that i am sort of a perfectionist. a funny sort of perfectionist. the competitive streak in me is killing me. i would give anything to get rid of it and just be satisfied with whatever i have. i am trying to do that now. i am not crazystudying history. or going to crazystudy anything else. i am going to do it as i can. and i will not let it compromise with anything else i am supposed to do. i really hope this works, because i don't want to let studying own my life. i know it is a priority now, but it is going to diminish soon. in approximately two months time. please, Daddy, help me not to worry.

thanks Father, for blessing me with friends that tide me through times like last night. i love you!

my lips are so dry, they taste like they're bleeding. maybe i should look into the mirror later.

for virnice: if you ever see this, happy birthday! you are sincerely a blessing (although i haven't really connected with you) i'll be honest, i had some negative thoughts about you. but it was out of my own selfish ideas. knowing you, in some way, has taught me something. i really hope we'll become better friends than just simply teachers-day friends, okay?

brokenness is what Youwant from me

2006-09-06T23:46:00.000+08:00

lovers of God

holidays have been okay. i am still feeling guilty about not studying as much as i should. but that's okay i hope. hmmm. i have been rushing all my tuition sessions so i'd be free during prelims.

it's easy to say that things-won't-always-go-your-way, you-just-have-to-accept-it ......... but when it's your turn to have things not going your way, you'll find it isn't so easy at all. woooshies. ohoh, i love thegirls .........lmm (?) , hope you had a brilliant birthday heheh welcome to the JDL club! membership lasts until november.

i have been feeling rather happy, i suppose. i feel like i have been a very good granddaughter, cos i did something for my grandfather that i would normally strongly decline immediately and refuse to do at all costs. hmm that sounded wrong. i need to pee soon. and i am looking forward to tomorrow's dinner.

lovenotes for the loved and the missed
#1 you've been sick, and i haven't taken the best care of you.......but i really did want to. i seriously didn't mean to buy the wrong things! sorry for thinking.......extraordinarily. mmhmmmm i hope i made you feel very loved by the surprise heehee. i really don't mind you being so busy and all, just remember that i'm always here for you (even for only 5 minutes before bedtime)

#2 now we're all too busy for emails and letters and talks, i really appreciate all the MSN chats now. seems like our mode of communication has been changing but i don't care, the point is that i get to talk to youuuu lovey. we'll strive together mmhmmm

#3 MISSCHAN this is for you in case you think it's for someone else. i miss you cos i didn't get to see you on thursday. booooo when will we see each other again?

#4 pls go and enjoy yourself at the camp. perhaps you won't see this at all. hehehe. and to your sister, hope you enjoy the camp too *grins

#5 you can think harder, chubbs. rest well ..................

#6 together together together everyone come on can't wait for lunch together tomorrow i love you

#7 i think you won't come here at all but i love you. a lot a lot a lot. i think of you a lot and i miss you. heehee

2006-08-25T22:22:00.000+08:00

they're excuses you always make

God, i need to be more patient, in like, everything

and i need to be patient, and i need to be brave
need to discover how i need to behave

i am not dillydallygirl or DDG.

why are you so bitchy this morning? :(

can you believe it? my sister's in university already, and it seems all too scary for me. i don't even want to go to another school. way too tired of making new friends and getting suited to new environments. i know, i know. perhaps it's just a point of view in this point in time. but yes that's what i think now. hopefully it gets changed by the time i have to change

hmmzZ and i think i really suffer from, like, split personality disorder or something. i can't focus my thoughts on any one proper thing for too long/ my mind ends up strolling elsewhere. and that seriously makes me feel rather bad ... maybe i'm trying too hard to think about that one thing that i wander off. okay fine so i'm not making sense

MISS LIM XY! i absolutely adore the way you do your compositions. i can NEVER get the whole present-tense thing right. now i get the feeling that my english is positively crappy.

sing, for the light has come

i didn't mean to be so careless, spilling the soup and all. trust me, lah, i really can cook. just not in your ktichen. i loved the lunch. i am so not retarded please, biggie and tessa rock big time. oooosh! energy regaining is damn important please, it does not mean that i am piggy

you can call me ashley

2006-08-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

all this time, since the day that i was born
i've never known a time like this
i don't wanna let you down

a song stuck in my head these few days! yeah it's really nice. hmmm

i've been thinking. what you're going through i really cannot know for myself. giving you the benefit of doubt, i suppose you're really lost and don't know what to choose, select, take your pick. but from everyone else's points of view you're just this real horrible person who's a torturous personality. i feel rather bad for telling some people other things thatve happened in the past. you know, before this, i never did mention it to anyone else. what's more, i kept telling other people that, hey, you know what? she's changed. she's not the same person anymore. but you just disappointed me. even so, i'm still seeing the hope in you. that you can still become a much more pleasant person. i'm not trying to tell you what you should do. i'm just thinking about your brilliant undiscovered potential. so, my conclusion is that, i simply cannot so-easily put a finger on whats going wrong with you. cos i like to give people the benefit of doubt. cos they deserve it. cos it's just the way

yo, i love you and you're in my prayers :)

2006-08-18T23:57:00.000+08:00

i'm standing at the feet of my Miracle Maker

1. Put your music player/iTunes/whatever on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

How am I feeling today? complicated
Will I get far in life? worlds apart
How do my friends see me? standing still (!! stoning)
Will I get married? if you're feeling different
What is my best friend's theme song? S.O.S.
What is the story of my life? no one loves me like You
What is/was high school like? gravity
How can I get ahead in life? flying blind :D :D :D
What is the best thing about me? you're my number 1
What is today going to be like? much afraid
What is in store for this weekend? i live for You
What song describes my parent(s)? does anyone hear her
To describe my grandparents? light
How is my life going? places you have come to fear the most
How does the world see me? more than LIFE
Will I have a happy life? He
What do my friends really think of me? metamorphosis
Do people secretly lust after me? history maker
How can I make myself happy? Love is a miracle
What should I do with my life? making a Difference!
Will I ever have children? oh Lord Your love

ripped from sher, thought it was pretty cute ......
my Miracle Maker will work something in me! and smething in you too

27 august

2006-08-17T19:46:00.000+08:00

how my soul longs for You

it's only today that i realise that i really am a man, well, girl, of little faith. not even a puny little seed's worth of faith. and that faith works when there's quantity and a right objective. and all the other things you told me. i really liked that talk, when you explained all of that to me. i think it's the best discussion i've had in ages. what's more, i actually LEARNED something :)

hey, guess what. i really really miss making music. though i'm not like, really pro at it. it just somehow makes me feel better. in indescribable, inexplicable ways.

yeah, i'm still feeling rather useless after today. i can't do anything to help. or is it just me not taking the initiative? i simply can't see myself helping out in reality, however much i see it in my head. trying to take sides is the most difficult thing in this situation, so i'm not going to. not like my stand actually matters to anyone, anyway. hmm

it seems like the more i know the less i understand

2006-08-15T20:07:00.000+08:00

rising

it's times like these when you feel like a stupid small petty girl skulking sulkily in a corner. it's times like these when you give up on your friends who promised to be there 24/7 and try to look for the One who's always been there ...

swensens ice cream and bk onion rings and changi airport made my nights awesome

#1 thank you for reminding me about the Relationship
#2 thankyou for reading all my Rants cos i know you'll simply be just listening (Reading)
#3 thankyou for reminding me that the world doesnt Revolve around me

i should stop thinking that the world Revolves around me. but that's kind of hard. come on/ and i should stop thinking about that secret hidden potential within me cos it's no use unless it's unleashed. i should stop thinking about how horrendous/stupid/irritating/act-cute-ishy/poserish/displeasing so-and-so is like cos i never know that i might just be like that too. i should stop thinking that everyone likes me and Realise that i'm not perfect and there HAS to be someone out there who hates me

sorry for all the pessimism, it's been a stupid day at school
sorry darling for all the extra sensitivity, it's like i'm allergic to everything around me. i seriously appreciate everythingyou've done for me all Right. i reallyreally love you still! however, i still feel like an idiot.

limxy no i'm not reading twelfth night. not even close. i read the simplified version though. it's lyrics from a dashboard song. hee. and when i get the chance, i am so gonna Rip dashboard songs from you. hehehe!
xueshen *grins.
xuan yeah it was great. i missyou still!
ning i can't seem to get into your blog. anyway, looking forward to saturday!

try not to eat seafood at the seafood Restaurant, lest you break out in a Rash. heehee love you lots <3

2006-08-10T14:05:00.000+08:00

youth's the most unfaithful mistress

ahhh yesterday was super fun. plus i managed to do some amath practice. whee! my mouth is burning with my sister's curry chicken noodles. mm and the sea is looking fine today! i miss kayaking! although i know i'm not too good at it heehee. i know yummi wants to get ssc membership so i shall be her guest!

costa rhu was brilliant! the whole place was like a resort, lah. the clubhouse had a hotel-ish smell that i liked. whee! i helped set up the fire then ran off to watch fireworks. (CLARISSA TANDER YOU BETTER LEARN HOW TO START FIRE) however i was a huge lightbulb for jeremy and his girlfriend cos jas didn't catch up with us. it was pretty! but sadly, really short. mm mm honey barbecued food was really delicious i couldn't stop saying that it was very xiang. lounging on the poolside chair (note: single!) with jasmine was fun too the piggy didnt want to move. anyway the highlight was the pool, most of us were just inside floating around. and i was trying to keep underwater cos the stupid security guard kept coming to seeee! but that was when only 4 people were in the water when everyone else came the guard disappeared whoosh! haha it was just real fun lah. thanks jiaying for the clothes! my hair got horrendously chlorinated it felt so horrible i shampooed my hair twice. px's dad owns the prawning place how cooool! had sweet ice and carrot cake at 12am yay. i slept at 2am and had a very sweet night's sleep :)

think it was one of the best CR gatherings. well it's the only one ive been to so far cos i missed the last one. hmm i think the water gels everyone together. ooooshies! i'm off to tutor

2006-08-09T00:53:00.000+08:00

sometimes it seems you're not with me
it hurts me so much, it hurts me so much

and i'm gonna love you anyway
i'll try to see things your way

you're one of my most genuine frens
-chelle

that's amazing, cos in my head i'm thinking that i think i knew too much for my own good and am starting to become rather untrue to myself. perhaps cos i don't really know

and you're dying to look cute in your blue jeans
but you're plastic just like everyone,
just like everyone

one nice thing about you
after all that torture you've put me through (and still torturing) i still love you, really

sit by the jendela

God's love is like a million piece jigsaw puzzle. now, what i see is only 1 piece, what i know is only like 1/million of His love and grace. yet i can survive and be so filled with that 1/million. imagine if i can open my eyes and see the whole puzzle. HAHA. who can fathom the depths of Your love? i wanna be blinded by God's light man, im swimming in His oceans of grace(:
-xuan

i'm so proud of you girl, i love you so so much

2006-08-04T22:17:00.000+08:00

if i could still choose
i would still choose you
cos i still love you

it was beautiful, seductive even

a few triggerhappy things thatve been happening
tha lake house with jas huan jo&keong zer&keong. (the stranger next to me didn't mind my odd postures which was good) MEETING CHAN XUEWEI. you totally made my day!!!!! to town with huan (making me feel like a materialistic fool agaiiiin guess and adidas and topshop). to bedok with huan getting brand new contacts (glasses to be collected on sunday) got the old man to check my eyes for me! he rocks wooots at least he's better than the other guy. meiji yoghurt and walking a whole round around bedok central. wheee. and i ordered forbidden city tickets today kitchan here i come

a few notsonice things thatve been happening
test tubes are mysteriously shattered and some people still kept playing with the shards saying very sharp leh for goodness sake it's glass. well i'm mostly annoyed cos theyre mysteriously shattered! whats more, in my beloved m&ms box. rv's getting along pretty bad too i can't seem to get it

i'm scared cos it's only a little over a month to prelims i should study like two subjects a day but thats seemingly impossible. did i mention about my ...want to eat fish&co or any other fish&chips and fast food, heheheh i am fast growing fat but it's okay i'm still healthily below standard...for now

this is the way it should be, for lovers
they shouldn't go it alone
it's not so good when your on your own

the lake house was a pretty show. a pretty show with a really dreamy storyline. typically possible for someone like me to sink into. i love that show (especially the house!) but it's just unrealistic/impossible/unfathomable. i'm not trying to be some professional criticcc i'm just trying to say that i hate the feeling of knowing how beautiful fantasy is but never being able to get it. still, it's just fantasssy ...

you're my fantasy

really.

2006-08-02T21:34:00.000+08:00

yay! i like this picture. can you see meee hugging my dearieee? or looks more like strangling wheee still got siew's photos right quick Miss Mugger stop mugging for awhile heh

i just woke up from a 5-hour nap pls don't kill me cos i haven't been sleeping well the past few nights spare me okay i'll do my work like now

my new glasses will look like gandearie's and i can't stand another second with these glasses i really can't see well with them i think i see even better with contacts now

mmhmm alright so see you

[edit]
tag replies,
Amanda i'm waiting for you to give it to me
sher arghhhh i want to watch tooo and i can't stand it keira is pretty! thanks for getting your blog song off hee :)
Eunice ! :)
xueshen haven't been seeing you around huh? take carezZzz
jiawei! heyhey! ha ha! come and tag more
wj yahhh ~~Mr Mugger~~ you can't match Miss Mugger
[/edit]

2006-07-30T21:44:00.000+08:00

what i wanted most was to get myself all figured out
what i figured out was i needed more time to figure you out

i went to the indoor stadium on friday night. some songs were pretty nice, but some songs freaked me out. and i met kathleen, whom xuan has always been mentioning. you're sweet! hehe

saturday was brilliant, got a ride to marina where my sister and i missed the lake house. oh-so-sad. mmhmm and i got some strawberry dream chocolate to give to two someones but my mum ate one! so there's only one left. Yummi Yan Yihui from now on known as YYY, i forgot to give you your present. i finally got my present from miss sherms teo. heheee sexxxy. the game was fine, rockers 01 found sungei api api park and i feared rolling down into the sungei. had a nice talk with yinghui. haha. my new boyfriend. and she's honoured! hmm and i kept destroying siew&hua's photos! but i look horrendous in plenty of photos i think as usual i think i can't take photosss. uh the whole thing was rather fun i guess. not extra extra fun but just okay. it's not that it wasn't good or anything, i think it's just me. can't really enjoy myself completely. ohwell. anyway THANKS to everyone who pitched in for the event. good job, really. appreciated!

can't wait for SEPTEMBER 21. it's the special day. special until cannot special ahhh. only this year. catch it before you miss it! abc.com will tell you whats the special occasion

one year six months
i wouldhave stayed up with you all night
then i'd know how to save a life
two years

i'm still not on the right track someone make me mug more than i am mugging now

enough happyhappy. i still want to watch my loveshow and i'll keep saying it till i watch it

2006-07-27T19:29:00.000+08:00

looking out like a little child
holding tight when it all gets wild

i gave you a love letter. i hope you felt like hugging me when you read it. hehe!

sometimes, when you read others' blogs, do you get a feeling? like, hey-quit-complaining, or stop-accidentally-on-purpose-washing-your-dirty-linen-online, or you're-not-pathetic-so-stop-acting-it sort of feeling? but do you realise that you yourself just might be doing all that too? so what right do i have to say i-hate-the-way-she's-complaining, or i-can't-stand-his-self-pitying? noneeee

perhaps floating around aimlessly isn't that bad after all. you just might get some sense knocked into your head along the way. i feel like a small white shimmer in charles xavier's cerebro machine. wheee. in some places you just don't fit in. i'm not about to try to fit in with you. i think you're nice, but i don't know you enough.

macs with jas, huan, jo&keong. some funny stuff happened at MP library with jas and huan heh not so nice ah shall not say. and the classs suspicions are hahaha weird. true colours out ahhhh. but never mind

you know what? i am still in love with pirates, mostly johnny depp. no no i don't think that he's-so-hot or oh-so-handsome or anything like that. he just seems nice to me. savvy? and yes i want to watch my love show, hehehe

2006-07-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

look! an undead monkey!

anyone has the first pirates dvd please spare me cos i couldn't finish it the other day. johnny depp and keira knightley are nice-looking in the show. and i don't care, jack sparrow was not selfish! he was selfLESS and came back to save miss elizabeth swann's love. and hahaha to those who know about my jack sparrow theory, it works riiiiight. heh. hopefully.

i hate to say this cos it sounds really typical angsty-teenage-kid-like but i had just ridden (and perhaps am still on) an emotional rollercoaster. wheeehee. at least denise is responding better in 1-hour sessions. plus i managed to squeeze 34 orders of guides cookies in 4.5 hours today!

things i am happy with
-34/40 oral
-29 CCA points (okay at least there' s more haha)
-watching pirates
-the lake house premiere

things i am not happy with
-not understanding some integration
-totally not getting geometrical transformations 4/25
-not understanding some probability

to think i thought i liked geometrical transformations. that was before stretching and shearing came into the picture

i love jasmine tay starfish to itsy teenyweeny bits. thanks darling \

2006-07-23T01:00:00.000+08:00

all the glory Lord is Yours

thankYou for everything.

as i was running for the bus today, lots of dust got into my eye. and it itched real bad. but i couldn't scratch my eyes cos i was wearing lenses. i wanted to close them badly but i couldn't. so i had to bear the discomfort while i ran for the bus, or i wouldn't be able to see where i was going. when i finally got on the bus, i closed my eyes and finally got a bit of relief. so i was thinking. as i run the race, lots of things will get into my way. i can't get them out nor can i push them away. i just gotta live with it. when i finally reach my destination, i will... so guess what/ i'm gonna live with it

thankyou to these darlings on the 21st the class including shrek! and some guides during POP; on the 22nd bryan pearl xuewei ning weijun sher kuahmanda kaijie ty yg iv px qin greg jan yum yunkuan xinya xuan yt dennis jw bert lumjosh enoch&dankoh yinghui&chrystal chelle lil ming hua, people i met at starhub centre including missQWEK and birthday song singers, taggers jiawei pearl (again) xianwei fizzi sher limxy yv jocelyn huix xuewei&weijun (again), online mrlam (haha) shane and of cossss not forgetting the sweethearts JAS (ha!) huanyuet zer&keong chessia, i love you guys :) (sorry if i missed you out, i lost many of my contacts=X)

happppy birthday joy, grace chin and YG (twin!)

(okay i am not the type to type with first letters caps)

i'm tired, and i've got work to do. but i will go and have some an jing shi jian, it's been two days since i spent some time with Him. being a birthday girl doesn't give you any extra-energy-privileges. plus the bad neckache that the globalised axe brand universal oil isn't relieving isn't helping. also, i looked like i was dying in all the photos i took during POP. wheeee.

expressions of hurt can come in unexplained anger,

2006-07-22T11:00:00.000+08:00

POP was okay. wasn't any atmosphere, really, but i'm not complaining, HONEST. my darling future wasn't there and i might go and find her today! and miss01AQM will be doing a good job i believe ;D i will miss you girls loadssss.

would you rather stand up in the wind with your hair pulled back
or have long straggly wisps flying in the wind
would you rather brush your teeth or leave them black
you smile at the wheat but what does your heart think
you aren't really smiling at all so stop all the deceiving

happy birthday to me.

2006-07-16T20:42:00.000+08:00

i wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it

another brilliant weekend, except for the fact that i missed church.

saturday: out with the girls &two guys and albert's girlfriend. movie plans were cancelled (i still want to watch my pirates!) bought new flats! to save me from those horrendous heels. and the more i looked at them the more i liked them, they make me feel like i'm walking in the roman era. to the cathay and back to ps then down to taka wearing lousia's pretty brown adidas jacket which i fell in love with and many people later complimented. (okay i know that was a real bad ROS) where i ate gelato and walked into nike women with SHARapova splashed all over the place! after which i went to meet FG! yayyyy it's been ages since we were all together. steph's farewell dinner was okay but the service was really bad. they so do not deserve 10% service charges. and i got sick of the weird tasting black sesame. neos with ALL of us in the puny stuffy machine and pictures at somerset station before heading home. whee!

sunday: lazing around on a lazy sunday morning didn't exactly beat going to church, but i lived with it anyway. pigged into the late morning. after which i had a yummy lunch and another nap (i told you i was piggy) before going down to parkway to use the 50 topshop dollars that's pathetically due for expiry tomorrow. and i bought blueberry morning! (cos my poor banana nut crunch ran out) yummy yummy. i like.

shall type my compre out cos i am lazy. i'm offff!

i miss you xuan can't wait for august
and i want coloured canvas shoes

2006-07-11T19:44:00.000+08:00

go beyond my wildest dreams

i seriously feel like giving up on amath cos i don't have any other help besides my own puny little brain which isn't much of a help at all. and i seriously seriously can't do it !!! it's not like i'm not trying. so any kind soul who'd like to help me please do cos i'm pretty desperate already. and if you haven't realised,

Q: how many weeks is it to the olevels?
1 month = 4 weeks
when it is 4 months to olevels,
4 months x 4 weeks = 16 weeks
A: it is 16 weeks to olevels

which isn't very long at all !!!

jack's place today again and we were served by the same china lady who remembered us. and i saved louisa's 2.60 trip to parkway by asking a china lady at the bus stop at school for 20 cents for her bus fare. i kept speaking in english until she replied in chinese, woops. so hey, not all china nationals are meanies.

2006-07-10T01:23:00.000+08:00

heyheyhey

i do not want to watch soccer cos my favourite spain is not in. awww. and i was deprived of watching the last half hour of black pearl cos i had to do my quiet time.

#1 i love you a lot darling give until it hurts right i'm still learning okay do not sit in the seat of mockers love love

#2 i love you a lot too dear i hope you're okay you know i'm always here for you you're in my prayers

love

2006-07-08T00:35:00.000+08:00

friday was a pretty day cos i finished review 17. i was a good girl too, then i got to eat mcspicy. after that i watched allo allo. it was super lame. left for home, then went to east coast. played along the beach, sat around at macs and ate (twister) fries and drank coke and a horrid tasting pepper drumlet. that's macs twice in a day. i am not going to eat tomorrow. finally went home and watched some ms swan. hope you had fun. cos i did. love

"you've become a really major part of my life
and i don't want to let go
please don't let go
and i get the feeling that you aren't
telling me all that i need to know"

2006-07-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

the truth is there
there's no denying it

being a teenager gets annoying sometimes. so maybe i'm not part of any extremist group. but that's not what i want to do to make a statement for myself. right now, my point of view is that sometimes, i get sick and tired of being a stupid old 15 going on 16 year old, being fussed up about all the so called love and friendship and everything else. perhaps i'm getting a little cynical. but never mind. how much of this is real? at the end of the day, you only have your close few to lean on. and the love? sometimes it just isn't real enough to stay. it's just not meant to. sometimes, my mind is just clouded up with all that nonsense that i can't think straight. and then pride gets raises me even higher, pushes my head into the clouds so i can't see what's below. so no one else gets to know what's happening in that head above the clouds.

of course there are the triggerhappy days with the girls and the gangs but most of them don't last long. wheee

but there's the Almighty, and He lasts

2006-07-07T21:39:00.000+08:00

where did i go wrong? i lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness

some things worth remembering
- rustic house &drums!
- spirito
- walking along the river at night with ning
- jack's place
- east coast ;)

some random comments
- i seriously miss guitar
- i don't mind learning more drums (though i think sher will hate me)
- i miss qin &xuan
- i still have loads of holiday homework to do
- pop is coming
- i owe people birthday presents but i shan't say who you'll get em soon

[edit] i had a dream this morning for about ten minutes cos i fell asleep after i woke up. i boarded a transland bus. the conductor came on the bus. i confidently handed over my bus pass. however, it was rachelle beh's (!!!) and the conductor started to scold me. then i kept telling myself to remember to get my bus pass back from her on sunday. cos apparently we had switched bus passes. totally weird don't ask me why [/edit]

2006-07-02T22:30:00.000+08:00

medicine has a way of exposing the lies. it might take a while but, eventually, our bodies will betray our deepest secrets. within the walls of the hospital, the truth is stripped bare. how we keep our secrets outside the hospital, well... that's a little different.

favourites
colour green/red (i know, christmassy)
food i can't do this. (there's too many)
song forever
movie i can't do this either
sport running, too :D
day of the week sundays
season summer
ice-cream gelare's honey malt crunch

currents
mood blank
taste watermelon gum
clothes shirt&shorts
desktop philips 107s
toenail slightly long
time 10:33PM
surroundings society of social work &psychology students application form for freshmen orientation camp, NUS 100th anniversary mug, fujitsu lifebook (sounds so university, it's all my sister's, strewn all over the place)
annoyances none i can think of

firsts
best friend a girl called minn in kindergarten school.
crush secondary one, and i'm not telling either
movie deep blue sea, with dad &sister
lie nope cnt rmb either

lasts
cigarette never tried
drink water
car ride last night, home from midnight shopping!
crush you don't want to know
movie just my luck :D
phone call you wouldn't want to know this either
CD played some burned compilation

have you ever
dated your best friend nope
broken the law there are a whole heap of laws to break, i've probably broken at least 10 but never knew
been arrested no
skinny-dipped nono
been on tv YES :)
kissed someone you don't know no

5 things you are wearing
shirt, shorts, specs, underwear, hair band?
4 things you done today
gone to church, talked, rode on a bus, slept ><
3 things you can hear right now
hillsong, tv, fan?
1 thing you do when you are bored
stone

i don't want to ask people to do this. ha ha. i am like SO NICE uhhh

SYFOC 2006 was damn good please. cos i saw many many people! and i went on a water high or something. qians knows how hyper i was! but the marching part was really good too. like, i felt super nervous (but happyish) before it and really exhilarated after you finish. it's just really nice. i'll miss jessie and jiaying and the gm girl. and no, xueshen, i didn't faint! toe wiggling helps! but the excessive water didn't, made all of us want to weewee just before we marched out.

after the whole thing, qians&i went up to the grandstands and i decided to plop myself veryveryvery near to PM LEE, weehee! and we didn't even know! we went up just in time to catch the TK BAND, yayyyyy i support TK! and i was cheering for them all the way! woohoo! when they announced that TK won, the bandmajor started to tear in her poor sedia position. so touching can. they so deserve it! yay! and the bowen female drum major was cool! then after that, we went up to our school's area and i got super high and kept waving and stuff. whee! and i hugged yingying! and managed to say hi to virnice! woohoo TK hahaha.

aaaafter thaaat i went to meet jasmine and on the way i met lihui&hammy and GUESS WHO! YOU WOULDN'T EVER GUESS IN YOUR ENTIRE MEASLY SHORT LIFETIME! okay so that's an exaggeration. but i saw darling darling MISS LIM MAY LI! whoa! i was totally caught offhand. plus it was her that recognised me, not the other way round! &with all the hyperactivity of that day, stinky perspiration-dripping shar gave her a hug! her students are quite cute. she was so surprised when i told her i was marching. whee! totally made my day!

then it was suntec with jasmine. we were brilliant moneysavers with expensive banmian&PEPSI cos it was cheaper than eating pasta. so we caught up with each other and stuff, was really fun. sent her to the train station and returned to suntec to meet my sister for midnight shopping! (yes, all this in my guides uniform!) it was pretty okay i guess considering that we haven't gone out together in quite long.

today's service was quite nice, george verwer (?) was pretty captivating (in terms of attention). some things pretty much touched my heart. so, yah.

sorry for being so long &draggy. but i just thought the weekend had been pretty cool, so i couldn't resist the temptation! alrighty, goodbye :)

you must be the woman screwing my husband

2006-07-01T09:24:00.000+08:00

places you have come to fear the most

sometimes i really don't know what you want. so could you make it clearer, please? i'm trying to love, and honest, i really want to. but i don't think you have any idea how hard it is. the words just slip out of my mouth; i'm trying, really, but it's so difficult. i feel so manipulated sometimes.

girl, i missed you tonight. i guess i went online too late. i want to talk to you soon! okay? and yehhh you're in my prayers too, love

i think all teenagers pretty much get caught up at some point or another with some kind of teenage angst. the source &the solution don't really matter, point is everyone gets it. somehow. maybe it's more spiritual. or just plain emotional. but no one escapes it. so when a friend has a bad day, i am gonna try my best to sympathise. cos it sucks having someone piss you off even more when you're doing bad enough already.

so many things've been happening. sher's down, so is lilian, and huanyuet wasn't doing to well i guess. &there was phototaking (which seemed rather screwed, but no matter) &guides phototaking (though we weren't involved) &they had the east coast activity too! i bumped into ade&shuhua hahaha. yup &syf later. it will be good!

such simple songs declare so much

i will live for You, i am devoted to You

2006-06-27T18:40:00.000+08:00

see, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. once in a while people may even take your breath away. that's what you have to believe.

someone please drag me away from my darling grey's? okay so i'm not really watching it. but i'm thinking about it a lot. sounds crazy right but never mind. at least i have prettyful grey's songs on my pod. (but i want more) so i'm a happy girl

i'm a happy girl cos i managed to do some work today. and finally get my chinese books. uh huh. today is such a chinese day. but i don't get stretching! i can't believe it. arghhh ohwell spain better kick france (no i don't think torres looks good. at least not yet). yehhh

i'm a happy girl cos i'm gonna bathe and get all nice &clean now

thankyou lovely. please don't fall sick

byebye

2006-06-22T22:43:00.000+08:00

show me a garden that's bursting into life

co night was cool. i gave my darling a red flower! <3 little owls on little green bags and green flowery necklaces and memoirs of a geisha sure made my day. so did coffee eclairs (I TOTALLY LOVE EM and i know i owe $4.50) and famous amos cookies and M&Ms minis. and cooking rice and tomyam that no-longer-sergeant louisa foong and jasmine tay rejected =( and SALT&VINEGAR POTATOCHIPS (ivie!) and a nightwalk that was spooky to me. and comforting all the scared sec1s. and sitting at the basketball court "er ren shi jie-ing" with miss sim and earthing the lamps whenever they turned on. midnight &morning calls with miss teo. and pretty handwriting complimented by miss sim<3 and prata with peipei. camp was good,

i guess rockclimbing was a disaster though. i didn't know that once i let go i couldn't continue. bleh. anyway. the guys got first and we got third. which is pretty cool. the RJ people were friendly.

oh welllll chatting with darling kelly now, haven't talked to her like that before... guess it's good. i miss my sparrow! (so if you haven't noticed, i wear coy01 tags and a sparrow patrol emblem on my uniform)

saturday with sher<3

#1 i love you i love you i love you and i won't give up on you. i had a really bad feeling today and i couldn't think about anything else but you. but i'm thankful it's nothing bad, and i'm really glad you were honest with me. i really want to know everything, so tell me soon, okay? i LOVE you.

#2 i love you i love you i love you toooo. i'll always be here for you okay? you know i'll be praying for you. i miss you and you owe me a letter! <3333

2006-06-14T21:39:00.000+08:00

if you put your arms around me
could it change the way i feel?

so 14day challenge no more. which is good, i suppose.

here's a secret. to whoever lent me can you keep a secret by sophie kinsella before yesterday? i never read it. i just finished it last night, or rather... this morning at 4:40am. no, i'm not nuts. it was just attractive.

meeting the rockers today was cool. we were all in skirts, and i hated my heels. i will never wear stilettos again. unless i have to. delifrance! and caramel cream ice cream courtesy of sherteo, to whom i have revealed a great many secrets today. well, now she knows more than anyone else. err well, any other rocker. haaaa. she's the man was good. i like sebastian! don't ask me why. maybe it's the musician thing. or the olivia thing. anyway, it was nice. least it didn't end like agent cody banks, or like switching goals. uh huh.

anyway, just something random. i really want a bottle of ribena concentrate. and some sparkling ribena. hahaha. i do have to get some work done. and i need a jogging pal anyone care to join me? mornings at east coast.

2006-06-10T19:23:00.000+08:00

yeah the cookie crumbles
but in whose hand?

{14day challenge: day4}

ultra hot day. why didn't it rain sooner! & i must say, the crescentian first aider was efficient. ha. i suffer from anaemia lah. and i learned about bronchitis today. whee

jamx was pretty nice. finally caught up with miss ng. i'm sorry for not telling you before, i seriously thought that i did already tell you about it! anyhow, my precious girl is growing loads. and i am still stuck here *cries. ahhh and what can i say, God is so faithful. so so faithful. and i am so thankful! thank You for the gifts, thank You for always always being there~

check this out, it's my favourite! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7O-IDGXRgE&search=tokyo%20jihen

p.u.s.h. it works

2006-06-08T22:23:00.000+08:00

words just can't say enough
when all i can feel is love

{14day challenge: day2}

sitting around in tampines block 889 watching some super lame taiwanese drama with my cousin and his friend for a whole hour wasn't too bad. brings back the taiwanese drama memories. but NO i am not going back to chase taiwanese dramas anytime soon, and definitely not the one i watched today (there are like two boxes!) and i so happened to watch the last episode of the second box. taiwanese dramas will always be taiwanese dramas, like singaporean dramas have been like singaporean dramas since i was six.

i went on a coke high (a whole big gulp, and i tricked ivie into drinking some too!) or something today. it only happens when i'm with miss geraldine lum, and most of the time it happens without the coke. but i influence her, and i am proud of that! ... on another note. i'm a better girl when i come home to study. i don't know why. cos my parents won't pester me when i study? hehehe

the whole prom thing is getting slightly annoying. perhaps it's because i don't really know what's going on, with all the hotels and the different prices that are either unaffordable but worth it or just simply unaffordable. but from my point of view... i wouldn't mind a prom, just give me reasonable prices &places hehe. and who says you have to have dresses to go to a prom, i know of a prom queen that didn't go in a dress :D

reading the word of God really makes a difference. although i'm just being amazed over &over at the things that God has done, it just makes me feel better. it's unexplainable! maybe this is the peace of God. so if you haven't been reading your bibles, just pick it up and read a few chapters. it'll make your day better!

2006-06-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

under your skin

{14day challenge: day1}

alrighty yay i am back. and with much rejoicing, cause QINYI's back too!

i was a good girl and went for amath today, but i still do not understand quad functions or r&f. (hey mushroom you can't tag anymore! but i'll mail you soon)

uh huh so i got lost. and of all places, shenton way. i will try to refrain from taking 608& 16 (although i just did today)

when i think of You, things don't matter the same way they used to. because You're so amazing, simply wondrous. i just want to keep on dancing about, singing my lungs out about how faithful You've been. because that's the way You are, and You're the same, yesterday, today &forever<3

2006-05-25T20:49:00.000+08:00

the moral to the story goes
never leave your heart alone

it's a song i used to hate.

for xuewei.

1. Taken a picture naked? NO
2. Painted your room? NO
3. Made out with a member of the same sex? NO
4. Drove a car? NO
5. Danced in front of your mirror? YES
6. Had a crush? YES
7. Been dumped? YES
8. Stole money from friend? NO
9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? NO
10. Been in a fist fight? NO
11. Snuck out of your house? YES
12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? YES
13. Been arrested? NO
14. Made out with a stranger? NO
15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? YES
16. Left your house with out telling your parents? YES
17. Had a crush on your neighbour? NO
18. Ditched school to do something more fun? NO
19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? YES
20. Seen someone die? NO
21. Been on a plane? YES
22. Kissed a picture? YES
23. Slept in until 3PM? YES
24. Love or miss someone right now? YES
25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? YES
26. Made a snow angel? NO
27. Played dress up? YES
28. Cheated while playing a game? YES
29. Been lonely? YES
30. Fallen asleep at work/school? YES
31. Been to a club? YES
32. Felt an earthquake? NO
33. Touched a snake? YES
34. Ran a red light? YES
35. Been suspended from school? NO
36. Had detention? YES
37. Been in a car accident? NO
38. Hated the way you look? YES
39. Witnessed a crime? YES
40. Pole danced? YES
41. Been lost? YES
42. Been to the opposite side of the country? YES
43. Felt like dying? YES
44. Cried yourself to sleep? YES
45. Sang karaoke? YES
46. Sucked your thumb? YES
47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? YES
48. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose? NO
49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? YES
50. Kissed in the rain? YES
51. Sing in the shower? YES
52. Made love in a park? NO
53. Had a dream that you married someone? NO
54. Glued your hand to something? YES
55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? NO
56. Ever gone to school partially naked? NO
57. Been a cheerleader? YES
58. Sat on a roof top? YES
59. Didn't take a shower for a week? NO
60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? YES
61. Played chicken? NO
62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? YES
63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? YES
64. Broken a bone? NO
65. Been easily amused? YES
66. Laugh so hard you cry? YES
67. Mooned/flashed someone? NO
68. Cheated on a test? YES
69. Forgotten someone's name? YES
70. Slept naked? NO
71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool? NO
72. Performed on stage? YES
73. Blacked out from drinking? NO
74. Played a prank on someone? YES
75. Gone to a late night movie? YES
76. Made love to anything not human? NO
77. Failed a class? YES
78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? YES
79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? NO
80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? NO
81. Did you celebrate the 4th of July? NO
82. Thrown strange objects? YES
83. Felt like killing someone? YES
84. Thought about running away? YES
85. Ran away? NO
86. Did drugs? NO
87. Had detention and not attend it? NO
88. Dumped anyone? YES
89. Made a parent cry? YES
90. Cried over someone? YES
91. Owned more than 5 sharpies? NO
92. Dated someone more than once? YES
93. Have/had a dog? NO
94. Own an instrument? YES
95. Been in a band? YES
96. Drank 25 sodas in a day? NO
97. Broken a cd? YES
98. Shot a gun? NO
99. Dated a married person of the opposite sex? NO
100. Written a love letter? YES! so many of them.

2006-05-23T17:29:00.000+08:00

if you're feeling different
do you wanna tell me why

the latest thing that has driven me crazy (in a way that i like) is grey's anatomy! i am absolutely nuts over it, it's just so nice! and i'm way ahead of channel5 *grins. anyone wants to watch can come jump on the bandwagon with me cause nobody i talk to understands anything i'm saying except my sister ><

integration has started today, and it's the other thing that's gonna drive me crazy sooner or later (in a way that i don't like). anywayyy i love my classss, jas zer hy (jeremy) dennis jw and the other hy sitting in kfc talking and talking about the hottest topic we can't stop talking about. okay so it isn't the most saintly activity. but we're cool okay. and i realise i sometimes get easily agitated, by horrifically un-encouraging teachers and this particular teacher i just somehow found rather annoying.

isn't it funny? that no matter what you do, life just goes on. you can't stop it at the sweetest moment, you can't stop breakups from happening, and you can't stop couples from getting together. you get annoyed, irritated, dismayed, angry, depressed, whatever. it's all outta your control. cause He's in charge. and i guess that's what's so sweet about everything that happens. the fact that time will just pass, and crying your eyes out wouldn't change a thing. even if you don't ever get over it and it keeps burning somewhere at the back of your brain, even if you know very well that it's still there and won't go away, that's torturously sweet, and there's nothing you can do about it. time heals, sometimes, just won't come to pass.

"hating you is the most exhausting"

so you're just a little better than me. just a little bit, in just about everything

2006-05-17T18:08:00.000+08:00

BOLD THOSE THAT APPLY TO YOU
I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch much TV these days.
I love olives.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I've watched porn movies.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe that honesty usually is the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed alot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
I hate the rain.
I'm paranoid at times.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I was born in a country outside of the U.S
I have worn fake hair / fingernails / eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way that I look.
I know how to cornrow.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I think prostitution should be legalized.
I think Britney Spears is pretty.
Slept with a suitemate.
I have hidden talent!
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants.
I LOVE TO SHOP!!!
I would rather shop than eat
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.
I don't hate anyone. I dislike them
(i wish)I'm a pretty good dancer
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I like someone!
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
I have at least 5 away messages saved.
I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I have avoided assignments at work / school to be on Xanga or Livejournal
When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
I enjoy some country music.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I watch soap operas whenever I can.
I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
Halloween is cool cos' you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friend's ex.
I like surveys.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys.
I am punk rockish.
I am preppy.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup
I believe in prophetic dreams.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
(i wish)I'm proficient on a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went to college out of state.
I am adopted.
I like sausages.
I am a pyro.
I love the Red Sox.
I have thrown up from crying too much.
I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colors.
I think school is awesome.
I think pigtails serve a purpose.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I don't like multi-textured ice cream.
I think John Cusack is adorable.
I f**king hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays
I watch Food Network way too much.
I love coaching youth sports.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I would not be friends if they weren't family.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I love vaginas.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie
I know who Santos L. Halper is.
I read trashy romance novels and I am ashamed.
I love wrestling.
I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.
If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
I'm an artist. (i hold the ARTIST badge)
I have a goal to collect every Johnny Depp movie ever made.
I have an unhealthy Taco Bell obsession.
I have had a crush on a cartoon character when I was a kid.
I have spent more on anime and manga than many spend on computers or other high end products.
I only clean my room when neccesary.
I have pointy-ended ears.
I love Korean dramas.

2006-05-17T00:02:00.000+08:00

i'll take his hand
you'll be surprised

new skin credits to sherteo :P

rockers were awesome today, can't believe we haven't been with each other for so long. and i look like i have some weird makeup in the prints we took, i looked like a ghost! anyway iviesim better send the photos soon! and glad that lowsp likes the stuff we got for her, i was the shoe model okay! lowsp if you're ever here PLEASE TAG :)

OH and i watched MI3 last night, got home at like 12+. sis kept threatening that the police would 'come&catch me' but we kept joking that they'd 'catch' my sis instead of me cause i looked older than she did. ohwell great time last night, hehehe MI3 rocked! i so love it (although albert says it isn't as good as MI2) hehehe iviesim would know. maggieQ wasn't all that good. but i liked her operation though. and ethan hunt& julia looked so sweet! that's my favourite part hehehe.

no one measures up

i know we haven't been the most confident pair of friends these days. but i know that i really really love you plenty plenty plenty. all the suntec trips. the one ps trip. subway sandwiches. cheese threats. biggie&smallie fights. all the lunches -- homecooked or bought. prata&fishball mee days. your curry chicken rice which i do not like. making me try laksa&chili&all the things i'd never ever wanted to try at all. worshipping with me. letting me cry on your shoulder. teaching me so much i'd never have learned if i'd never met you. so all i hope you'd do is forgive me for all the things that i've done. and let me in on the specific details of your life, right down to the reasons why. because, i really love you and would never want to lose you, ever <3

2006-05-16T12:32:00.000+08:00

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. The tagged victim have to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover.
2. Mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there's no need to do this AGAIN.
5. The most impt rule: HAVE FUN DOING IT.

my perfect lover is a GUY who should

1. love God
2. love me
3. not do things that i don't like for example tickling me >< and incline towards doing things that i like for example he must think for himself
4. be willing to be dragged around everywhere by me including silly social gatherings
5. not mind me spending time with other people, girls or guys (trust me!)
6. bring me to nicoll highway/kallang river one night and sit&stare at the pretty kallang river reflections
7. be able to stand me being nonsensical&crappy&silly&fickle&high&stupid&the list goes on
8. be hopefully talented?in one way or another. you know, free entertainment

PEOPLE WHO ARE TAGGED!
since miss sherteo has so smartly tagged people i want to tag, here goes... qin, pearlyn, chelle, ning&xuewei (if you ever come here)

sherteo i'm waiting for you to send me my pretty new thing~ and seeyou later! hehehe!

2006-05-13T17:49:00.000+08:00

so take these words and sing out loud
cause everyone's forgiven now

friday was good. went rockwall climbing in the morning. it was my worst experience by far. proves that i've been climbing easy walls all along >< [edit] oh how could i forget skating with cr peeps was darn fun. which made my legs tired too so i ended up aching alll over hehe! [/edit] &then sushi with miss rachel ng! alacarte. there would've been a 10% discount if we'd eaten, like, 20cents more

ahaaaa i feel like such a slacker, alldaylong i go out and slack, today i went for yummy prata breakfast then i went to rainy orchard to wait for my sister. so i walked into hmv and could not bear to leave without getting something. but i left without getting anything. i walked all the way to far east to find that the **** i wanted wasn't there. then i went to pacplaza and borders but my search was to no avaiiiiil. i decided to take a bus back to hmv to get my longawaited **** that COULD NOT BE FOUND at pacplaza OR borders. then i took 36 to the airport and back, was too lazy to get off the bus and too cold to read my book >< the day of shar the lazybum.

i miss my rockers& i can't wait for tuesday >< must have FULL attendance if not run10 rounds of the lake

2006-05-06T13:19:00.000+08:00

riding along till you lost me

whoopee finally some notsowelldeserved sleep though i got up early this morning and am still feeling sleepy hehehe. physics was not so bad, but i think i pretty much screwed history. just praaaay that china will not come out for o's (since it's already been tested for the past whoknowshowmany years) because i do not like mao. sooooooo i'm gonna blast myself with geography today! way to go geog geog i am gonna pass geog! :X

so i let crazy take a spin

#1 i am so sorry i didnt' reply your msg when you sent it, because i was piggishly replenishing the sleep i lost the previous night. anyway really really hope you won't feel so bad anymore, i know it's hard cause yeah i've been through it. in fact i'm still going through it. and i think you're handling it loads better than me. seriouslyyyyy. so let's pray for each other okay, cause we will get there~ (national day song) i love you!

#2 hey there. i know i haven't exactly been the best help. haven't been there for you, haven't been looking out for you, haven't even been thinking of you. don't know why i didn't come~ (norah jones) ahhhh. yes. pretty much caught up with all the exams and stuff. so i ask for your forgivenessss. don't drive yourself mad alright. got me by your side! and so many others too. if you need to pour, just open up, and i'll listen.

#3 dumbshit! where are you. you will probably never see this. when are we ever going to tour the neighbourhood together, that was like last year's pact. maybe we should do it tomorrow morningso we can see the SM but that's not a good idea cause you and i both know~ (jason mraz) anyway missing you till i see you again, which would hopefully be in june. then i can invade your house at 1a.m. in the morning and play sims2 :D

#4 I LOVE YOU BUT YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE DO YOU?! let me hear you say~ (ashlee simpson) the coldness is killing me! honest. i don't get why we're ending up like that, it's not supposed to. but if it's not beautiful, it's not the end, cause God's endings are beautiful. i'm holding onto that missy. even if drags five years from now, i'll take the purple line and transfer to look for you, even if it's a stupid thing, it doesn't really matter at all, does it

garbage&city lights

2006-05-01T15:29:00.000+08:00

someone just like you

sherteo> furry fold east is maozedong
sherteo> xitele is hitler in chinese!
student> yeah. never see you already! :X MUGGER right you. lol
jasminechin> yepyep. good luck for mids!
qinyi> yes limqinyi i miss you toooo!
sherteo> yes i've answered your questions already haven't i ;D
ning> yes i was there today! i just came late! ha ha. really serious

well to my lovely lovely rocker,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IVIESIM<3

i had a happy sunday qinyi! though i reached church uber late heh AND I MISSED NING. went to tampines mall after five gazillion years with miss rachelchen who couldn't eat a chococone properly. so now i know a lot more and she knows a lot more too. i love the girl hehehe and in the evening i went for amath and now i finally finally finally know how to do trigo functions! yes, trigo functions. hehehe and THIS evening i will be going for a brilliant dinner yay

check out my fastfood record
day1: macs with qin
day2: macs with ning
day3: macs with cr peeps
day4: macs with cr peeps
day5: bk with rachelchen

i still have a lot more to cover and it seems pretty impossible to finish it all... but with God all things are possible!!! come on let's go all the way it's only the mids! O's are the thing to worry for man. but! do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry for itself. each day has enough trouble of its own! seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well! and my recent favourite: let your gentleness be evident. the Lord is near! we can do it :D

2006-04-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

falls a tear to darken the dirt

yay i feel quite happy but dissatisfied at the same time because i could've accomplished a lot more. so all i've done are organic chem notes and solubility&qa notes at long last (yes, i love chem) and ss skills notes which are pretty inaccurate. i have still yet to organise more notes i brought home from schoool today. think my usual examination routine will begin soon. perhaps i should start it earlier. haaaa. i finished jurassic park! great i finally understand what it's all about and i can go watch the movie again. the movie is so not in line with the book! nasty raptors and innocent hadrosaurs and the pest of a nedry. okay sorry i think i've fallen in love with books again. save me michelle!

sometimes i feel really bad. like, i know that those people need my help. well, maybe they wouldn't need me, but at least, they'd probably feel better with someone caring. i mean, wouldn't you? but somehow, i always never bring myself to show care&concern for them. don't know why. excuses pop up all over the vacuum in my head like annoying internet spywares and i can't seem to comprehend any logic at all. and when a horrific sense of guilt& regret start to (storm)surge from my heart, i never do anything about it.

paper ones were okay for english but terrifying for chinese. i am so bloody screwed. i think i just might fail chinese for the very first time. noooooooo

but why should i buy that?

sherteo> ha ha, lazy :X anyway i hate mr furry fold east and love xitele
jasminechin> yeah. catch up with you soon. at least, before we leave chungcheng?
siew> hello miss keepondrivingpastme ;D

2006-04-26T21:43:00.000+08:00

love's just waiting for you

ning> yeah i'm fine. hehehe
sherteo> wo ye ai ni, i have a card for you :D
greg> hehehe i want ribena! LOL
cute little student> yesyes you are cute. hahaha
chelle> thankyou thankyou. don't worry bout the song, just let it d/l haha :P
sherteo> it's okay, i know it's off already. update again!
lala> that's kinda hard.
xuewei> hehehe yes! but i ain't for chinese o's :D
jasminechin> yes i do i was just wondering about you, honest. missing the innocent days toooo and library duty :X with grace&shiwei&blah and ivie&co ....... !!!

2006-04-18T19:52:00.000+08:00

adore you

1. shar's favourite drink!
2. shar dropped her mobile phone into the __________
3. shar has tuition on ___________
4. shar's two favourite subjects!
5. shar's post in guides!
6. one thing you think shar would like to get from you!
7. shar's favourite flowers!
8. shar's favourite colours!
9. discuss one memorable thing you did with shar!
10. show why you think shar loves you or why she does not
BONUS QUESTION: anything to encourage shar to study!

adapted from miss lim qinyi. please do it! ha ha so fun. you can email me! until after midyears or something :D okay going to bathe byebye

2006-04-14T15:02:00.000+08:00

these are but the fringes

i don't know just felt like posting since i had to send some emails. anyway i have been really mean and been dissing a brother of mine. i don't like the way he does some stuff, his attitudes to certain matters and the way he behaves. it really is hard to love. if you ever happen to pop by, and you know who you are, i'm sorry. but okay. i will heed the matchstick's warning for once. always the matchstick warns, always i do not listen. i will try to stop shooting my mouth off whenever he's being annoying. because i know for myself, that words do hurt.

thankyou to
anthea! for sending me to boon keng last night.
jasmine for sidney sheldon. and the walk out. when we finally talked more than we did in two thousand years.
QINdarling for ribena. i owe you a letter
zer for your future cranberry child (free cranberry juice supply)
ivie for chen jiajie
aloy duno. just want to thankyou for being sucha fun beloved brother with a fun phone that i don't know how to use
sher for being noisy<3

i am pretty lost. am i doing the right thing? and does doing the right thing really matter? can i go on like this? am i supposed continue or should i stop. all the you should and you are supposed to and why didn't you do it and why did you do its are driving me crazy. and i know that i'm gonna end up feeling much more hurt than i was in the first place.

if this never ends

it's the third june.

2006-04-13T21:55:00.000+08:00

rjFC&sidneysheldon

8> disappeared!
6> no idea!
7> seems like it.
hl> hallo!
sherteo> yes i know that ha ha
secret admirer> faster reveal your identity to me
my faithful> my sincere answered you
my sincere> great!
my girlfriend> hehehe! rocking my world.
pearl> yep you too <3
1> hi
myBelovedBroAloy...> yayyyyy! and rjFC heehee wait longer awhile makes no sense to FC someone who doesn't like me or at least, i think he doesn't :(
sherteo> it's okay, i know i rock :D
huix> yay! miss huix, please take care :D
siew> hahaha you know what it's a random colour, i randomly punched some numbers for my colour code :D
zx> haha i know you want badges!
10> cause we got legs, so must kick, lor :P

i've been a total idiot and deleted all my tag archives. just as well, so that i don't throw my face back down to all corners of the earth. since you've got nothing much more to say, i see no need in justifying myself further to a bigot. yes perhaps i've got limited words but yeah i'm still learning you see, my sexyyyy.

2006-04-10T22:00:00.000+08:00

don't

my beautiful junior> well if you want us to show consideration then please tell me your name so i can show you consideration and bytheway if you consider my slang as a slang at all it is pretty natural sometimes and i'm born with it and it's not maybelline

jocelyn&sherry> great thanks for replying and realising that it was you and hey sherry i wasn't talking about you at all great to know that jocelyn dear here has such a great friend anyway i didn't exactly have the time to read through your lengthy tags people who want to help me please do okay because they're way too profound for my simple pea-brain to comprehend back to jocelyn yeah i never said you attended any obs courses it's actually my own personal opinion as you had said i never visibly poked my nose into your blog so thanks a lot for poking yours so hugely into mine and hey peace be with me thanks truckloads you can daresay whatever you want it's your views not mine byebye

[edit]ohyes please do graciously accept my apology for not being clear about matters and just voicing them out here. i guess i was too agitated&fullofangst. and hey, we should sit down and talk it out. if you ever even want to make peace as you claimed. well yeah. byebye once again. [/edit]

2006-04-09T08:28:00.000+08:00

unrehearsed symphony

hi people i know that was a real mean post but ha ha. it isn't always someone like that crosses my path, so please forgive me. hmmm

going to church soon. hope the weather will stay well for sentosa-goers heheheh.

ah yes, talentime itself was good, but the experience wasn't. if you get what i mean. ha ha. i made a new friend, denise.

syf wasn't so good, lousy commander, couldn't march much. heh.

weeelllll i got loadsa new songs from my sister and only ten of them passed my screening test hahaha. most were grey's anatomy songs ahhh i haven't got down to watching it yet.

east division day is coming why am i mc when i don't want to be why why why! yes miss ivie taught me that it's master of ceremonies ha ha. yes shar's blog is educational. oh it bettttter run well. oh and jurong stadium is supposedly real dilapidated and it's chosen only because it's the only stadium that can accommodate four schools or something like that, ha ha. and there were like no trials this year or something, the team better be good though :D

*yawns. i'm still tired. i automatically got up at 6+ though. bah! why don't i automatically wake up at 6+ during weekdays. i wish i could find my biological alarm clock so i can set it myself. ha ha. it's like from the primary school english textbook. you know, pets coursebook with all the cute little animals

2006-04-03T20:57:00.000+08:00

it always rains like hell
on the loser's day parade

nowadays i am really angry. okay i don't exactly feel angry now but i feel dismayed, annoyed, disappointed and awed at the ignorance of my innocent comrade. i absolutely trust that you have the minimum required intelligence of entering ching chong chang high (tscore avg 240) but i sincerely doubt the quality of your emotional quotient.

oh you're so vain

have you ever wondered why you were given your post? it's because you were thought to be up to the task. but it's becoming strikingly conspicuous that you are not. looks like birds of the same feather flock together, because your partner in crime is also lacking the minimal. anyway, i'm digressing. if you think you can't make it, then quit. but it's obvious you won't. speaking of quit, why don't you QUIT shooting unconstructive criticism uncontrollably at every little thing that you think is unsuitable? after all, it is only what YOU THINK. it doesn't at all matter to anyone else outside your sphere of influence, which is miniscule. we may be leaders but we're not 24/7 receiving info about everything, so please stop expecting that we are the ones providing inaccurate info. and concerning things that we did NOT organise, please QUIT asking us what's-next and why's-it-like-that-when-it's-not and can-we-go-now, because we do NOT know. oh, and QUIT making yourself seem ever-so-saintly. beeecause, you're not.

remembering what they've taught in obs, you fall face flat into category 'competent but no committment'. otherwise, you're exhibiting your committment in a tremendously poor manner. if you doubt our organising skills so much, i have even more solid ground to doubt YOUR skills instead. you lack credibility. you lack reliability. and thus, you are not completely useful. okay sorry too much ss SKILLS drilling from mr soon.

carrying on from our discipline master, it would be my pleasure to declare that your would-be disciplinary actions, if ever at all, taken against our minors would be, sadly, unsuccessful. because someone who disciplines commands respect. the ways you attempt execution are, PATHETIC. i really pity you. since you self-affirmed your poor command of english, please note the grammar baby, it's in present tense (if you know what that means). it's been boiling inside many, hey, look here, this isn't going to work. it's like you just came back from thirty eons ago and don't know how things work now. it's awesome that you think so highly of our subordinates that they should have such high discipline. however, i am also strongly convicted that if you were ever promoted to being a higher authority in any organisation you may be in, it would be exceedingly difficult for anyone to obey you. simply because they probably do not have any respect for you, or the way you do things. it's just not the way.

stop having the illusion that our jobs are a breeze, because in case your vacuous mind hasn't registered after 16 years of mere existence, it is not. and i bet, you have to find out what 'vacuous' means.

mm hmm, right. i could probably go on ranting through the night, but for a certain obvious rationale, wasting time, i decide to stop. so goodbye to you, goodbye to everything i thought i knew

2006-04-01T22:41:00.000+08:00

why weren't we able

did i mention? my brilliant dad did the thing he refused to do for me, signing a bloody two year contract. and he used my $65 mobile phone voucher together with it. to buy a phone for his FRIEND. so smart. so much for i-don't-want-to-sign-a-plan-for-you. plus i ruined my phone today. ON ACCIDENT. he probably thinks i did it on purpose. i have to use my darling's hated word, WHATEVER. my house is gonna turn chaotic without my mum around.

2006-04-01T21:12:00.000+08:00

life is like a mean machine
it made a mess out of me
it left me caught between

syf was good today. 11A :D met xy&dearie at j8 before going to ivie's place. headed to dhoby ghaut after that and met xy&dearie, again! heheheh. okay and on the train to dhoby there was this real weird guy talking to no one in particular, in my opinion, setting a real bad example of city harvest and Christianity. honestly, he was just shooting his mouth off looking into space. rattled off his girlfriend's name felicia (although i doubt her existence) and his ic number that started with S73 and ended with D. ha ha riiight enough of the schizo

so miss mountain tortise finally got to go to sentosa island after one thousand years. it's not all i thought it would be, heheh maybe my imagination was way too rich. no sun, but sand&sea were pretty okay. walked loads. i liked the tram! hehe. i could sit on it all day long. mr siloso coffee bean thought i was called charlie and called me a charlie's angel :D and there are hardly any shells at siloso!

as my age increases, so does my sensitivity. plot age/years against sensitivity/degree, you get a straight line graph passing through the origin. directly proportionate, like ohm's law. i wonderrrr why. and my miss beloved says i clap my hands the retarded way i do when i'm normal. guess i'm normal today.

first rainy enrolment i've ever experienced yesterday. in fact, it was so rainy that some guy hurt himself. totally scary. and the fourth floor of the new block is a labyrinth, according to ivie. 'because it's winding', ha ha. but cca was good, it cheered me up. although i screwed the last part of roll call. bad day to have roll call anyway, almost no sec3s. suntec after that! and marina. my darling friend got lots of new things, but the only things i got were a sub and some strawberry gelato. had a great time :D

mm hmm that's more or less the better things that've happened to me so far. and i should follow my first instinct for vocabulary questions! grrr. that's so strikingly conspicuous

xy> it's green already :P
amanda> i'm waiiiiiting for your explanation!
ning> i miss the girl, but i'll see the girl tomorrow!
zen> thanks for the concern. exercise more wouldn't be the choice for the next few days... perhaps the next weekend.
greg> okay you are not gorillalike. *crosses fingers
chessia> thanks girl. and thanks for the ribena!
student> yesyes. here you are!

2006-03-27T18:40:00.000+08:00

just to set me free

we're different from all the other people. but why do we behave the same? or possibly, even worse

my favouite combination of sauces is currently a little oyster sauce with a little chilli. and i think i need to balance my diet and eat everysinglemeal and drink more water before my giddy spells worsen.

been feeling real bad and grouchy. it's not your fault seriously. you probably don't even know why, and i'm not gonna be the first to tell you. but all the same, it's probably because i love you so much that this silly thing matters the world to me. i miss you being around, really. so near yet so far. it's like i don't exist anymore

and greg wanted me to blog about him. well mr niceguy. he opens this really nice music store that i have to visit soon. and when i saw him last sunday. seriously reminded me of a gorilla. ha ha.

2006-03-17T23:22:00.000+08:00

this is not really happening

was walking around HMV and looking at all the songs i haven't heard in ages. sadly, not listening to them. oh well. i was just browsing iTunes too. ahhhh

i've been having that odd itch. have you ever? an itch to dance. but somehow i can't find the flow. haa i'm not exactly making much sense. yes i miss dancing at campfires and all the little little competitions though we never ever win

i am craving for RIBENA

sometimes i feel like a little kid, screaming "not fair!" only this time nobody's hearing, i'm only just going deaf inside my head. why is it that sometimes people who don't deserve things get it, and those who do deserve it just don't? not commenting that i deserve anything. but what's up about deserving? since when did anyone of us deserve anything. it's just that some people get more things and some don't. is it time or connections or sheer luck? it simply seems as if they're always in the loop and we're always out. and things would stay this way for like forever.

on a different note. 'time heals' sometimes just won't come to pass.

"burning, it's burning like hell" (on the sims: throwing a party and ruining everything, killing everyone with an instant campfire)

april E54 is my new love although she looks purely stupid.

you bet your life it is

2006-03-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

i've found where i belong

dreadfully missing church! ha ha. and i miss qin jas ning greg rach! caryl XUAN! ahhh where are all my precious people

and i miss the HIGH girl kel shandi swee and manda feng

and manda kuah&yiyang(hahaha) the other manda reuben theron grace chua xianwei cherie xueshen the wushu guy the 6 guys on the first night and all the cute girls&boys

and sher aloy meixuan&jas my hairstylists chong&calista and the rest of the deodorant stealers and the crappy facilitators

and the campsite and the sun&sand&sea and lame games with sher&shern&chias

and the shed with mr gan&faizal& superman ang

and running around with a videocam looking like a pro videoing mr weicong who hated it

don't ask me why i miss the strange place so, maybe 24 hours did the trick

i came home to find my entire place destroyed. i know miss cila wanted to do it nicely, but i can't help but feel annoyed that all my stuff are in all the wrong places. and all my hairbands have disappeared. maybe four nights out was a little too long. and ching chong foyer is bloody hot with mr lee light first's body in there, totally no inspiration even mr tan says that i clearly wasn't in the mood for writing. i want to cut my hair, and i want new shades and hairbands cause they're lost, and i want to get my drawer key so i can lock em up and no one else can get them

You are my God You're everything to me

i've lost touch and i wanna go back. bring me back to You

2006-03-07T21:38:00.000+08:00

we gotta aim high&shoot low baby

honestly. atomic kitten doesn't make sense.

falling hard

first time i'm feeling so warped up over schooooool. i can't believe it. what on earth is happening to meeeee. i'm turning into the person that i don't like.

falling harder

seriously, i sometimes wish she'd never appeared in my life. her presence is just pure annoying. the behaviour, the actions, the noise -- don't know why, but i've never abhorred anyone's mere presence as much as hers. or perhaps it's just me. but if it is, why does the rest of the population of a certain community dislike her even more than i do

drowning

to make things worse, mdm blockhead came in to take the free period. i got so fed up i fell asleep. and she had to make me stand.

i don't remember ever being this annoyed with myself and everything and everyone else.

2006-03-06T00:16:00.000+08:00

so i hear it
they didn't have to scream it in my head
they just could have whispered it instead
cause i am already over it now

i suddenly like lene marlin all over again. heheh. well church was fine today. finally saw the people i haven't been seeing in AGES. and janice seemed to know lots about what i wore today, lol. and i like joseph's hair! ha.

our visit to acs gangshow06 explained the paucity of good looking guys in chung cheng. too bad we couldn't have stayed longer. and i ALMOST forgot my ipod. so sadly i wasn't still there when they came down to find me. thank God kel&co were still around. heheheh. they say chung cheng don't have yan dao is sooooo right. i love making the guides sing it in front of ncc. anyway, i had a great time performing. but i suppose kel, shandi and the HIGH girl thinks otherwise. and i saw XINYA! goodness. couldn't really see her at first. was wondering who called me, haha. and the AHS performer, CINDY. soooo many long lost people. and some guy asked me for the song title, yay i knew the song was nice! and i think i can now tell the difference between shandi and the HIGH girl. miss teo made me take 196 the wrong way and i ended up at clementi. hahaha but i like taking long bus rides, especially at niiiiight.

so i was thinking. how i wish i could grow up quick. then lots of the questions i have now would probably be answered. and i wouldn't have to worry about all the unimportant things i am worrying about. after all, which of these things can you bring to heaven? and to myopia sufferers like me, hey, we'll all have perfect eyesight up there :D

so it's hello to another schoolweek. bleh. despite all the fun, this weekend has been rather unfruitful. argh. must. work. harder. slavedriver

spinning turning watching burning
walking crawling climbing falling
all my life has found its meaning